I didn’t become an addict to make friends, but my recovery has helped me make friends

I just think that’s interesting. I didn’t become an addict to make friends. I have made good friends by becoming an addict. Some of my good friends I made in my SA group.

I became an addict, to be an addict. But not to make friends.

7 Likes

This might be a silver lining scenario. Sometimes we come across treasures, like friends, in the midst of something hellish. I see God’s hand in it, helping to sustain one’s soul through a dark time.

Edited to add: my addiction developed without peer pressure etc. I found treasures after starting recovery.

4 Likes

I didn’t become an addict to be an addict. At one point I had no other options left - I took the turn towards recovery/discovery/befriending with myself which is an ongoing project.
Along the way I learnt that I couldn’t do it alone. And as a side effect I made some friends.

7 Likes

You hit that nail right on the head!

4 Likes

I love this and what an amazing side effect it has been. Never would have thought that I’d find friendship in sobriety. :heavy_heart_exclamation:

4 Likes

Have thousands of friends all over the world thanks to AA , love meeting new ones when i travel and have made new friends who arnt in recovery ,thats a bonus

1 Like

I feel that way too. I’ve been fortunate to make friends by sharing the mission to live in recovery. I think the sense of unity and purpose that comes from that has helped :innocent:

Absolutely :+1:

I am defining “addict” as “I was running, numbing, hiding, avoiding, and I was doing it through my addiction”. The phrase “I became an addict, to be an addict” came to me last night. It sounded strange but it stuck with me (that’s why I created this thread - it’s a weird thread title but I wanted to toss the thought out into the world and see what responses / reflections / insights it elicits; my thinking process is often verbal and interactional, starting with raw thought in words, and I am grateful to the people around me for journeying through my evolving thoughts with me, and helping me chisel them into form - and in the process I hope we both discover things). For me, that’s why I was doing addict stuff: to numb myself and to avoid. It’s the same reason why I can’t do that stuff any more. If I do that stuff again, I’ll be right back where I was, in active addiction.

I think so too. Gold is purified in the fires of a crucible, right? “Hellish” is definitely a word I would use for that experience :slightly_smiling_face:

I am grateful for the opportunities my recovery has given me to make new friends (inside and outside recovery spaces), and to repair and/or deepen my existing friendships.

2 Likes

Dunno… I started drinking to fit in with people at school. I started smoking weed to fit in and make new friends at uni. I did my first ever line before a party with friend groups. Me and my first husband started doing coke on the regular as a way of hanging out with new work friends.

I didn’t become an addict to be an addict, but it all started with a desire to fit in and make friends and maintain friendships. Things devolved from there, and casual use started turning into blackouts and people started pulling away from me… But being an addict was never the original intent.

2 Likes

But don’t you think the addiction is the centre there? It sounds pretty bleak but if your central objective was to make friends, there’s lots of ways to do that. You could have joined a hiking club. And you’re not friends with your former using buddies anymore right? What substance did those consumptions of drugs have other than the substance of drugs?

Even the words you use suggest it, subconsciously:

  • “fit in” - a phrase you use twice above - as in, deny yourself, force yourself to not be something; ignore and silence yourself (numb yourself)
  • then once the alcohol and the weed had established the precedent, it becomes a part of the social script for you and the coke fits right into that role
1 Like

Thank you for explaining my subconscious, addiction and intentions for me. It’s great knowing that years of therapy and education and reading and self reflection and sobriety amounted to nothing.

Did you start this thread to get other’s opinions/reflections or was it so you can twist words to confirm what you already believe?

1 Like

Are you really interested in my answer? Honestly.

It was rhetorical. You gave your answer when you took my post and used it to psychologically analize my subconscious. Please don’t do that again.

1 Like

I understand. Thank you for replying :pray: