I feel so terrible. I was so sure I wouldn’t drink again after losing my job but yesterday after being officially fired,arguing with my SO over what happened, and my roomate drunkenly venting all of his problems to me, I had a shot, which turned into a second shot. I guess I’m glad it stopped there but I really wanted to make this time count. Especially after everyone warning me about spiraling.
I was doing so well, and I really felt like I could make a bigger change than this.
I hate starting over, especially with all of my friends and all of you guys rooting for me 
I’m very disappointed. I am seeking therapy, because I dont think I even know how to develop better coping mechanisms at this point.
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Keep yourself busy…find a hobby…
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Has anyone recommended the book “This Naked Mind” by Annie Grace? It has helped me a ton. That book gave me a a lot of tools that have helped me stay sober.
Don’t beat yourself up too much, I’m sure most would agree with me that they’ve had to try a million times before sobriety stuck. You also have to be truly ready and really want to do it or else it won’t happen.
The important thing is just keep trying. One day at a time.
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You tried and thats important, keep trying, dont give up because of one failure, you know where you went wrong this time so avoid it next time, be kind beating addiction is a marathon not a race
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I’m new here (again) myself. I’ve heard it said in the ‘rooms’ (of AA) many times: “It took every drink I ever drank to get here - they all have value”
We don’t fail until we stop trying. I want to make this time stick as well - you can do this! Good luck!
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Glad you made it back. I think starting therapy is a great idea and I think that accessing additional help shows that you’re serious about making this change. I’m rooting for you. 
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It takes time and persistence. You have to be absolutely clear that nothing, nothing, nothing is more important than your sobriety.
Heads up - this will create unexpected effects in these places & you will have to be clear about your needs & give space to people if they need it:
- your relationship with your SO (be prepared; this will be shaken up; it’s not necessarily good or bad but I promise you, the changes in your perspective and your life will shake it up)
- your friendships and roommates
- your family
Everyone has an understanding of you that, in part, includes alcohol as an element of your life. Remove the alcohol and things will shift around.
It took you years to build this habit. It will take time to change it. As a good ballpark figure - very roughly - people say it’s at least 1-2 months per year of addiction. However that’s if you really dedicate yourself to it. It can take longer if you only do it halfway.
Rooting for you. You’re a good person who deserves a safe, sober life.
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I did try a few AA meetings a couple days ago. I think I’ll start going back to them 
I was hoping I had a problem with alcohol abuse that I could get a handle on with therapy and willpower. I may have been wrong though. My life problems should die down soon, so I’m hoping as long as I hang in there I can take some time to get my head on straight.
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Oof, yeah. As supportive as he’s been so far, I think SO and I are going to need to work on things upcoming. We’ll be on our own soon, and have the space to work thing out without outside stresses. The upside i guess is this has brought me closer to my parents, since they struggled when they were by age, too.
Thanks for the kind words 
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Oh yeah, I’ve tried to just cut back on my own and it only worked a bit. So far with everyone’s help I’ve gotten further than I have before. So I’ll just keep going.
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Your partner may find Al-Anon helpful. Alcoholism affects everyone involved - and there are dependencies in being the partner of someone in addiction; Al-Anon helps partners work through that. It’s worth offering - it would help build healthy mutual understanding.
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I think, at least for me, willpower alone won’t work for me. Being sober had to become me, part of my life. Willpower for me is like a muscle or a barrier that uses a lot of energy. And when stressed, the willpower alone will wear out. It’s like following a diet that you don’t really want, like. Being sober had to become my lifestyle so no justification necessary.
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Hmm. I would recommend finding a AA group, attending meetings is just a part of AA do the whole thing. Sponsor,fellowship, home group, steps, service.
I’d recommend giving it a good go. Then once you have completed a good step 1. You will have the evidence you need to decide whether your an alcoholic or just a heavy drinker… if you turn out to be just a heavy drinker then that’s absolutely fantastic you can then get advice on what to do next…
I wouldn’t beat yourself up too much, everyone with alcohol issues looses something promises never to do it again and does. Vicious cycle I got myself in too. I lost everything and couldn’t get more than a week sober. Spent years and years trying…
Because realistically you need to look at yourself, forget alcohol it’s just the solution we have to problems and the mental obsession which can be fixed.
Don’t give up! I’m not saying AA is the answer either there’s plenty of stuff out there . Just try everything but do everything 100 percent, and always remember whatever you did yesterday won’t keep you sober today. Everyday must be 100 percent and more.
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Exactly, I think that’s what’s been holding me back for so long. It seems so daunting to me, changing my entire lifestyle around not drinking. I didnt realize how big it was in my life until I took a step back and looked at how much I drank on average.
I know that I want to get better, and I have people to reach out to. Its just been hard for me to change my mindset as a whole.
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Rome wasn’t built in a day. We are all doing it step by step. One day at a time. Babysteps. You can do this. 
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Yeah, I’ve been looking at AA, some stuff I really like and some didnt sit right for me.
I do like how they basically say to use what works and leave the rest. I think I’ll keep going to meetings at least until I can figure stuff out more.
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Yep. The hardest thing for me was being told what to do on a daily basis. Handing my actions and thoughts over because let’s be honest I’m always right I’m absolutely perfect. Having a sponsor is great we do things we don’t wanna do and everyday I think his ideas are fucking ridiculous and mine could be better…
But I know we’re my thinking leads me. Doing something that’s not our mindset is definitely questionable and hard to do but every now and then I get lightbulb moments and realise why I’m doing what I’m doing…it’s great.
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For sure, though thought of dedicating myself to something else for the rest of my life is intimidating. It might be necessary though. especially if sometimes I feel like I dont even have control over my own thoughts.
I know this is off topic, im sorry, but I always loved those coins. I have a set of them up to 9months that I found when I was working at a thrift store. Part of me kind of hoped that my desire to earn my own set would be motivation enough 
I’m with @Mephistopheles on this one. When I got sober, I used Antabuse, individual counseling, AA, and intensive outpatient therapy. And court ordered sobriety checks as a consequence of my latest DUI - I don’t recommend the DUI part but the accountability really saved my hide. I focused on getting to bed sober each night no matter what and achieved the physical separation from alcohol that my body and brain badly needed.
Throw the kitchen sink, and all your other assets, at this!
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