I didn't know for sure that I was an alcoholic until yesterday... 🤦 early recovery trigger warning

Some of y’all probably knew if ya read anything that I had to say on here but I didn’t know for sure… At 666 day’s clean from methamphetamine (yesterday, well because I didn’t want to talk about last night :neutral_face:)… I’ve learned that you don’t have to even like something in order to be or become addicted to it… I hated Meth, it didn’t kill me but rather consumed me right into addiction… Not even gonna lie… It hurt to uncover this alcoholic truth about myself after working so hard to beat that… For a little while yesterday I thought what’s the use… Is there even any hope for us… But I’ve learned from other’s on here that by just stepping away from problems might not always work… I was able to be successful with the other because it was just me in this household with that problem… Well folks I’m not alone here with this one as some of you probably can tell… I did however buy his (for his stomach bug that he might catch :neutral_face:) and skipped buying mine because I now know that without a doubt I have a problem because I scored 10/12 on the checklist that I found yesterday… I also know that I’m only responsible for me on this… I also know that he can keep trying to share his but I’m gonna refuse… I already stepped away from this… Yesterday I quit when I was buying his… :100: Today 667 days clean from the other, I’ve decided to step up :point_up: to the 12 steps with that rather than just stepping away… Other people are struggling just the same and making progress, I’m gonna have to do the same for a better life for myself and my family… I’m gonna do my part… Don’t care how drunk everybody else up this holler gets tonight… I’m taking my daughter to church in the morning like I told her that I would if HER stomach bug gets better… I used to joke and say that I shouldn’t have never chased nothing in my life but my liquor… Yesterday I decided that I shouldn’t have never chased nothing in life but my dreams… If I do good, good will come back to me… In all honesty I also know that I could be one of the reasons why HE drinks… The better I do with anything the harder it is but the more I stand my ground the more things are gonna turn around… We gotta finish our dream home and watch our kids and grandkids grow… I’m gonna beat this addiction too now that I have a little more understanding of what’s going on… If I wouldn’t have joined TS for support I’m afraid that I wouldn’t have known how bad this problem really was until it would have been too late… THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!:point_up::blush:


Meth got ahold of me in 2001. I was always anti meth. Id seen what it does to people. I smoked it one time, and found myself buying some soon after.

I swore it off, but would end up buying more. Id buy a larger quantity each time too. Id swear it off, buy more, swear it off, repeat.

I did it frequently for about a year. I couldnt stop.

I had a good friend who had been sober for five or six years. I reached out to him for help. I started going to meetings. Mostly AA because there were meeting 24/7 in SLC utah where i was living. I needed that.

I stayed sober for 9.5 years. I knew 100 percent that meth was a problem. When i drank, i usually ended up using meth, so i quit alcohol too.

When i decided i could try to drink like a gentleman. My number one rule was no meth. I stuck to that rule for 4 or five years, and ended up in a scenario where meth was around and i was drunk enough to do some. I had been meth free for 14 or 15 years.

I had fun the first day. Things got weird the 2nd day, and the third day things got insane. I swore it off. I stayed away from it i slipped again a year or so later.

Same thing happened. 3 days later, i was insane.

Last year after crab season, i found myself believing i could drink like a gentleman again after making a gigantic ass out of myself drinking. I decided i was going to get sober.

I decided for one last binge before i did got sober. I bought a teener of meth for 40 dollars and it started out awesome like it always does. But it went bad. Really bad.

My psychosis was horrific. Visual and audio halucinations that were realistic and terrifying. Im still blown away by all the crazy scenarios my mind created. Im lucky i didnt hurt somebody or myself. Im lucky my heart didnt explode.

I stumbled upon this forum around 60 days of sobriety after that binge.

I had about 7 months sober and i slipped. Only alcohol. It took over . I had no control. It was a 2 day bender. The support i got here helped me keep it short.

I know without a doubt that im a real alcoholic now and drinking is as harmful to me as using meth.

I wish i didnt have to learned the hard way. Im grateful that I learned.

I relate to your post 100 percent.

Great post! Thanks for sharing!


I completely understand what you’re saying too… :100:

The addict in him has now informed me of a struggle in his friends household and letting me know that he has somewhere to drink… I still quit… :point_up::blush::100:

Don’t care if he brings it through the door, done seen that before, and gave in and drank and I failed… :100: I don’t drink anymore… :joy::joy::joy:

Added… We have had 3 invites today and he said he’d rather stay here, he has his drink if he needs it and his video game… I know he loves me but I’m still not going to drink like I did and failed before… I know now and I quit… He also stated that he doesn’t feel like drinking much anymore… That’s an improvement… :blush::100:

I’m gonna print out my completed check list as soon as I get some printer paper and leave it on my nightstand for him to see… I had a problem one time and he helped me…

~You’ll have hard days in Triggerville, but drinking will make tomorrow three times harder~ Me :blush: