I heard Clancy speak a few times at conferences. He definitely has a legacy in AA. Always wanted to attend a Pacific meeting. I think I’ll check out the Zoom meetings there. 
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I will stay away. This group is very solution oriented, so if I do return, someone is going to ask me not to share for awhile.
I would rather not hear that. I can just come back in a month or two when everyone has forgotten.
Unfortunately, this is not imagination this time. I did something similar a few years back and it was pretty uncomfortable.
But since this is virtual now, I will just sit it out for awhile and let everyone move on. I will get back in time.
Oh, I meant family & friends. Not even suggesting you go back to the group. You do you & you will always have us. Strength in #s!
I’m sorry u feel that way. It’s all been said here but only u can decide what you truly want. I have a friend who’s struggling going back to in person meetings because he tried fighting a man for his own reasons. He made his amends to the board and is allowed back but hasn’t yet but I know he will be because you can’t save you’re face and ass at the same time. As for me the same club my vulnerability was takin advantage of by a man who said would take me to rehab in front of the whole meeting after I went off on the fellowship itself because no rehabs would take me and I was frustrated, faith based ones and all. It was wrong of me but I was a desperate, unfamiliar person with what the fellowships really are about at the time. The same man took me out that meeting I got in his car only to realize he was loaded on drugs and committing sexually inappropriate activities thinking I didn’t realize but I seen off the side of my eyes. Alot more happened I won’t get into but I had him drop me back off at the club I mentioned it to someone not wanting to in the first place cuz who’s gonna believe an addict. Well I was told " we’re not all very well here. Maybe you didn’t really see that you were kind of in a bad place. So I stayed in resentment and stayed loaded for a long time. Eventually I learned I can’t be embarrassed to go back. I’d rather save my ass than my face. It wasn’t the fellowships fault some people in my eyes wronged me. It happens unfortunately. I still came back and with no resentments thank God. For me goin through that there’s nobody that will drive me out of where I belong. You payed the high price to be part of that online meeting i say go back. Stay blessed in recovery 
I think it is the online culture I got immersed in. People talk about meetings where one can share that one is struggling. And we can be open about our struggles online in forums like this.
If forgot to keep it positive and keep my difficulties to myself.
No one wronged me. I was the one who said it.
After all that, reading your story, I feel like I am not facing anything hard. I hope you are in a better place now.
@Bootz is right about options. I have taken frieds to AA a few times. It isn’t for me but I respect it. I attended S.M.A.R.T. for a few weeks until someone in this community told me about Buddhist based recovery. I’ve been attending virtually for about 6 months. No live meetings near me. Recovery Dharma six days a week. And lately Refuge Recovery which I prefer. I like the format. I did take a long drive to attend an in-person RR meeting this past Tuesday. No one else attended beside the secretary/originator. But it worked out well. He and I really clicked and the following day I asked him to be my mentor and he agreed to it. Excited for this. I also agree with Smitty. You do you. Period.
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Just my pennies worth but I would hate to go to your meeting that you say is the best, it’s obviously causing you distress and not helping. Meetings are for sharing our experience strength and hope, how can you get help if your not able to express your experience. Where is the hope in that?
Try some other meetings you may be pleasantly surprised.
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That is just it. They share experience, strength and hope.
What I share was not strong or hopeful. It was weak and fearful.
I have been to meetings in most clubhouses in the region. This was the one that was the least depressing and I felt like I got something from.
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There are groups sho feel that we forget too often the “singleness of purpose” in meetings. One has to look at the history of the Oxford Group and see that when they opened the door to issues other than alcohol was ther failing point. Their suçess rate fell off, attendance fell and they failed as a solution due to trying to be more than they were. It is difficult to ask a group of people to be a brain-trust of marriage counseling, financial security, and the list goes on. The membership was full of alcoholics and when they tried to work on other issues they didn’t have experience in they failed. Groups, especially with many old-timers try to keep discussions centered on alcoholism and at times it does embarrass people who go off topic.
Is there anyone from your meeting you can talk to? I am only 1 week sober, but when I attended my first meeting all of the females (like myself) gave me their phone numbers. I’ve shared when I’ve really wanted a drink and I’m not sure if that’s an over share or not, but the group has been supportive. My husband and I are taking this journey together and he’s tried several different ZOOM/virtual meetings until he found one where he felt comfortable .
That was said in reference to the topic, because I said I had nothing to share on the topic.
In the past, when I talked about struggling I was asked not to share.
Thank you. I should not have said I was struggling since that is a problem not a solution.
And I should not have said it in a meeting on a specific topic.
It is Zoom so I cannot speak to any individual there.
This is a very solution-based meeting so I never heard anyone share that they wanted to drink or anything like that. The one time I did I was told it was a definite overshare!
This is the meeting where I am most comfortable. So I will probably stay away for a little while then go back.
I am struggling a bit anyway. What I like about Zoom is that it is less likely that I will shoot off my mouth at a meeting. But I still found a way to do it anyway.
Being able to be open and honest about your own fears and weaknesses IS YOUR STRENGTH, you are not at fault here, if people don’t appreciate your truths then hang out with people that do.
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Thank you.
This is so important Paul. Thank you for reminding me.
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