Its reffered to as compulsion… once your addiction is kicked into action, its almost impossible to put it down… trying to take all of the symptoms it causes… and drinking more to make them stop… which in turn causes more agonizing symptoms… the viseous cycle continues. I, myself had to be physically stopped. Went to the hospital and seeked help after the feeling of impending doom and death left me enough to make a rational decision. It was getting worse, never better and I had to come to terms with that. I was obsessed with drinking or trying not to drink. The pain is horrendous, Ive experienced it. I finally had enough of it. It sounds like you have to. Keep reading and try to slow your thoughts down… hot shower, clean comfortable clothes… hug your pillow tight. Lots of liquids… non alcohol, lol. I feel for you, because I am you… Your not alone.
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I felt like I was reading my own thoughts… you can be strong. Good luck 
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