This evening is really difficult. I don’t remember why I stopped drinking. I’m in really bad mental shape right now. The kid still hates me a lot. I know that it is my fault but I prefer to be drunk and hated rather than sober and hated. Where is the point? Maaan, I need a bottle of vodka so much.
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Whatever shape you are in, whatever the conditions are, getting drunk is guaranteed to make it worse. Even with sobriety, you might need more help to fix it, but without sobriety you have zero chance.
And you are worthy of so much more than you know right now. But I can tell you that better days are coming if you stay on the sober road. Blessings on your and your house 
.
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Thank you. It is funny how someone who you don’t know can give all the help that you need. Strange things happen with us sometimes.
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Sobriety doesnt promise a perfect life. It promises a chance at a level headed approach to life. There will always be storms, one just needs to find shelter to weather the storms. Sobriety is my shelter.
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The point is we do recover. We do get our lives back. We do find the love of our family again. It won’t happen over night. And I guarantee you it will never happen with a bottle of vodka. Just for today don’t drink. And so what if your kid hates you today! You think you’re the only one with a kid that hates them? Let him/her. It’s ok. When people change with sobriety the people around us change. And that’s a fact.
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You know who counts the days- addicts do. Welcome to the team…addict
I understand the feeling and have been getting the fuck it moments as well… stay strong man it leads to no where good. I hope in time you’re able to rebuild the relationship but you can’t do that drunk. Stay strong brother.
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We’re all addicts/ recovering addicts here… most are proud of each and everyday day sober. Welcome to the group
I didn’t drink last night. Got to bed early and had a terrible night. But I stood sober. Sob Still 
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Glad you stayed strong. Just know, there are others like you, who are trying to stay strong, and we are all suffering. So you are not alone!