I don't believe I will do it

This evening is really difficult. I don’t remember why I stopped drinking. I’m in really bad mental shape right now. The kid still hates me a lot. I know that it is my fault but I prefer to be drunk and hated rather than sober and hated. Where is the point? Maaan, I need a bottle of vodka so much.

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Whatever shape you are in, whatever the conditions are, getting drunk is guaranteed to make it worse. Even with sobriety, you might need more help to fix it, but without sobriety you have zero chance.

And you are worthy of so much more than you know right now. But I can tell you that better days are coming if you stay on the sober road. Blessings on your and your house :pray:.

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Thank you. It is funny how someone who you don’t know can give all the help that you need. Strange things happen with us sometimes.

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Sobriety doesnt promise a perfect life. It promises a chance at a level headed approach to life. There will always be storms, one just needs to find shelter to weather the storms. Sobriety is my shelter.

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The point is we do recover. We do get our lives back. We do find the love of our family again. It won’t happen over night. And I guarantee you it will never happen with a bottle of vodka. Just for today don’t drink. And so what if your kid hates you today! You think you’re the only one with a kid that hates them? Let him/her. It’s ok. When people change with sobriety the people around us change. And that’s a fact.
:pray:t2::heart:

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Early sobriety can be like a vibrating spring. At first it goes this way and that, but over time it dampens and moderates, and you will find out that you can walk through things that you might have found unbearable before. This was my experience, I hope you can hang in there with us and give it everything you’ve got. It gets so much better :pray::v::heart:

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That pretty much sums up addiction in my mind. Every thought that runs through an addicts mind is self centered. Selfish thoughts are though 100% misguided. An addict will honestly believe that the solution that they will come up with is the best in their situation. While the reality couldn’t be further from the truth.
I’m sure your situation would go from bad to worse if you kept drinking. I’m sure the kiddo deserves a sober adult.
My salvation came in the form of a 12 step program. The program suggested I change my attitude. Correct the mistakes from my past and work on living a sober productive life of service.
That’s kept me sober for 1345 days straight.
I recommend finding your local group and beginning your journey towards a better life.

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You know who counts the days- addicts do. Welcome to the team…addict

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I’m an alcoholic and an addict for sure. A grateful recovering one.
Don’t mean to discourage you if that’s how you saw my reply. I was just trying to reflect from my experience.

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I understand the feeling and have been getting the fuck it moments as well… stay strong man it leads to no where good. I hope in time you’re able to rebuild the relationship but you can’t do that drunk. Stay strong brother.

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We’re all addicts/ recovering addicts here… most are proud of each and everyday day sober. Welcome to the group

I didn’t drink last night. Got to bed early and had a terrible night. But I stood sober. Sob Still :slight_smile:

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Glad you stayed strong. Just know, there are others like you, who are trying to stay strong, and we are all suffering. So you are not alone!