Moderation isn’t an option. Back in Feb 2018 I was not drinking. I wasn’t ever ready to say ‘For the rest of my life’. I decided I could drink like a normal person. I’ve decided recently that I absolutely cannot drink like a normal person. I also decided, for the first time ever, that I. Will. Not. Drink. Again. My counter is at 13 days. I’ve seen higher numbers before. It sounds like a tired line…but this time feels different. I’ve finally accepted the truth about me. I am an alcoholic. A truth that had to be believed before I could reset the counter for the last time. I’m ok with never drinking again. I found the way to acceptance over last several months of drinking and not drinking and arguing with myself and God. He wins. He always does. I want a sober life. And, I’m going to have one.
I have not been to a meeting yet. Fear of the unknown. I just need to decide to do it. One day at a time is the truth. I start the day with a decision. “I will not drink today. I will not worry about tomorrow. Today is enough.” This is new this time too - I was thinking too far ahead. Doesn’t work. Too overwhelming. One day at a time.
@Set_apart, i agree with you on moderation, theres just no stopping once I’ve started. As far as any kind of relapse what Ive learned is I dont want 1 or 2, I want all the drinks in the room. So I dont kid myself with the lies of moderation. And as of lately, I’m shamelessly honest of my sobriety. If somebody doesnt understand its my decision, too bad. Keep the clock going forward. Be well
That’s the spirit!
Acceptance that you have a alcohol problem it a huge step. I love being sober and not have to arguing every day with that voice telling me when to drink, how much to drink, etc.
I wish you the same 
Brilliant thinking. It’s what I do.