Every time i have tried to quit smoking weed it has always ended being a 2week-1month t break. I have recently started to try again, yesterday was my first day sober, it got to 1am and i couldnt sleep, my mate came over and smoked together, today i dont think im going to smoke at all. I feel like ive already failed by smoking last night, and i know that in a few weeks i’ll probably end up buying some more weed, and start smoking daily again. i don’t know what to do, weed takes away all my motivation, in the 1 day i havent smoked ive been more productive than i have in the past month and i would love to be able to keep that productivity up. I just dont know how to keep myself motivated, any advice would be much appreciated
4 Likes
Self-control doesn’t really work. Self-control means purposefully not doing what u want. Self-control is fickle and finite. You have to become really aware of what ur addiction is doing, so that u don’t WANT to drink or smoke or whatever. Build a life that ur addiction is not a part of. As an easy first step, keep a tally of what u do on days u do and don’t smoke. Put in black and white how empty, boring, etc, the days are when u give in.
7 Likes
U just explained self control…self control does work. It’s everything in sobriety. If You can’t control yourself then you can’t control an urge. It’s mind over matter. If u fail. It’s because of a lack of self control. Simple
3 Likes
Perhaps we are arguing semantics, and u have plenty of time under ur belt, so ur way is clearly working for you. For me, I don’t need to control myself because I genuinely don’t want to drink. Sometimes a bad day might cause a temporary urge that requires a short burst of will-power, but then I quickly return to my state of not wanting to drink.
2 Likes
That old debate, we know it so well! "I’m not going to use today. Well, not as much, umm I’ve already started, might as well go all the way now, I’ll quit tomorrow ". It’s a seesaw of intentions failing to match actions.
It’s rough to go through. I was able to slide into sobriety by focusing on one day at a time. Seems like you might be already anticipating a return to use in the near future. And I can’t say how to overcome that for you. I had to have drastic circumstances to interrupt my drinking long enough to get physically dry,so I could do the work of get emotional and mental sobriety.
We’re all here because we cannot control our use once we start, and many of us can’t control starting or staying stopped on our own resources, aka self-control. Sure, sobriety starts with “Just don’t use”, but implementing that, that’s where we need help. We don’t do this on our own. If we could, we would not be here in Talking Sober.
You can try some of these suggestions, they’ve helped lots of us here.
7 Likes
I agree with you. Self-control or will-power alone is a finite depletable resource. It creates internal conflict and manifests cognitive dissonance. What is proven by and large to work is employing an entire portfolio of recovery resources including a game plan for what to do when willpower grows thin.
6 Likes
Without self control and Will power you wouldn’t be sober. No matter your employed game plan. You can plan all day. Talk is cheap. You yourself have to want to be sober. You control that. The will power that you have controls the choices you make. No matter if u go to meetings. No matter if your in therapy. None of it matters unless you yourself can control yourself. Yes you gotta have a plan. But you also need the control and Will power to stick to the plan
2 Likes
i did when we had got here, but i had work early, and i used to use weed a lot for getting to sleep. I had already popped like 7 melatonin and another sleeping pill but it did nothing. this same friend had always been helpful and supportive when ive attempted to quit, i personally dont think hes an enabler
You may need to get yourself into some sort of program so you can explore your addiction and really quit.
1 Like
i would like to but that seems like a bit too much on my plate, im currently in the process of getting tested for autism, finding a therapist, finding a new job, getting my license, and moving out which i already find so difficult to keep up with. i dont think i have the mental energy for another commitment even if its helpful, although this comment made me consider therapy as a higher priority as a therapist may provide help for quitting
1 Like
this was not helpful at all but thanks. youre just saying i need self control which i know
I agree with this. One thing I learned I had to do was 1) Not put myself around people who do those things. Someone else on another thread said “you can’t be by the pool and expect not to get splashed”.
- A very difficult one for me, was telling the people around me what I needed to do. It gave me a sense of accountability. I felt some embarrassment and misunderstanding by a lot of folk. But it helped my reality of my issue.
2 Likes
Ah man yea that’s a lot. Well, even being on this app and checking in here can help. It does for me. I am a very busy working professional mother of 3 so I totally get it. I can’t make it to meetings so I just do it on my phone. It’s an app called “in the rooms”. Oh and don’t get hung up on the narrative that well AA is for alcoholic and I have a weed problem. It’s all the same bro. Hell I even logged on to a gamblers meeting and was like yup, it’s all the same. Addiction is addiction. Good luck! Free yourself from weed
2 Likes
1 Like
Sometimes ya just need to hear the truth. Can’t sugar coat sobriety. U either want it or don’t.
2 Likes
Love that video!!! Nailed it!
2 Likes
But? That’s not gonna work.
1 Like
Therapy can be very helpful at times. Finding someone you trust to bounce things off of, to just get it out can be a positive step. Discussing the WHY of your using can help with healing.
Also, while you may not appreciate everyone’s suggestions or take on your situation, it can be helpful to remember that we are all coming from a place of good intentions. Sometimes our delivery or belief system may not align with yours, but in the end, most people here just want ALL of us to succeed in sobriety.
Glad you reached out again. Getting clear of any substance can take a long time. Never stop trying is what helped me a lot. Fall down, get back up. Learn from your experience and build more sober muscles, cuz we need strength to get thru this to recover.
3 Likes
This is the best thing I have read today!
3 Likes