I don’t want a sponsor. Most of my reasoning stems from the fact that everyone, literally Everyone I used to be friends with has abandoned me. Not because I am an alcoholic, they knew that. Some did stop talking to me because of that, but not all.
I’m afraid of opening up to new people, sharing in meetings, etc because I feel like I am not worth the effort.
I have had therapists and psychiatrists tell me they can’t treat me anymore because I need a higher level of care.
I’ve tried basically every antidepressants and antipsychotic medication out there. (The doctors couldn’t decide if I am depressed or bipolar.)
I’m afraid of getting a sponsor and him telling me the same things the doctors tell me.
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I understand the difficulty in trusting people. Im sorry for the rejection you feel, rejection hurts. However with a sponsor, they are like a teacher. They help you delve into the steps more than we could by ourselves. Also, do not get a sponsor that hasnt been sober for at least a year, and make sure theyve done the 12 steps. How long have you been sober?
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A sponsor is pretty much a friend you make at a meeting, that you feel comfortable enough to share with…If you sit at an open meeting, and listen to people share, sometimes you find someone with a story similar to yours, and make a connection that way…There is no rush to find a sponsor, or do step work, all ya gotta do is keep going back…Fake it til you make it!
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There’s always gonna be someone who cares more about you than you care for yourself, come to terms with the fact that there are others who want to see you sober the rest of your life and you can’t even tell yourself that yet…get a sponsor and start loving yourself so you can start " want"ING the right things for yourself
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I just got my first sponsor yesterday and she has 29 years. I feel like you have your mind mostly made up - I say mostly, because you wouldn’t have posted this unless you wanted some input.
I also fear rejection. I didn’t even ask her, she’s been texting me or calling and asks how I am when I’m not at a meeting. After last nights meeting I was asking a couple girls how they asked around (for a sponsor) and she overheard. Those girls just found someone they connected with, or their sponsor said something in a meeting that inspired them, and they asked after.
I think having someone guide you is extremely important. Give it a chance! When I isolate and turn to my depression and self-hatred, that’s when I think f it, let’s drink. Be careful.
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I sponsor 4 guys at the moment taking two through the steps the other two are on the program doing great. My sponsor passed away two years ago now 43 years in this fellowship great friend so I’m puting back what I have learned over the past 30 years I still do 12 step work when asked I’m talking at a meet tomorrow can do during the day now that I’m retiring be safe everyone have a great day
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Here here!!
People post things here like “what do you like about yourself” and dammit…I have no clue. I’ve been avoiding “myself” my whole life. It started as a little kid when the “cool” kids bully and harass you because you aren’t cool enough and you start constantly thinking “what is wrong with me?” rather than “why don’t they see how great I am?”. I probably started drinking because I was so sure there WAS something (many things) wrong with me.
So now, here I am at 45 and I need to figure all that out like a 5 year old does. Honestly, that DOES seem much harder than just not drinking.
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@Collin I can relate to your post and could have written large portions of it! I can’t write a long reply since I need to get to work (it’s 9:30 a.m. here!), but wanted to say this: I chose my sponsor because at some gut level I knew I couldn’t scare her away. And do you know what? She told me this weekend I reminded her of her! I also eased into asking her, so she could PRE-back out. Told her I was thinking about who to ask and that she was at the top of my list. She should have RUN! She has not given up on me yet. I was trying to find a therapist after moving to where I live now and had one QUIT on me. Then when I was upset and kept leaving phone messages, she had her attorney send me a Cease and Desist letter!! I mean seriously, how was THAT supposed to help my mental health?! Your higher power is going to help you with this, with finding a sponsor, when the time is right. Try to share just a tiny bit at at meeting if you can. People will reach out to you. Okay, gotta run now. Have at great day!!!
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Personally, there is a part of me that would like a sponsor but I just never want anyone to want/need ME to be theirs. How could I put that much onto someone else that I’m not willing to give to another. But maybe I’m just not in that “place” yet and one day I will be.
But so far, it is all moot…I have yet to attend a meeting yet. LOL
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time to be your own sponsor, you seem to know what your short comings are which is a good starting point. Now tackle them one at a time, you can do it
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Hi, I attend AA and recently got a sponsor, she told me a lot of alcoholics (including me) feel like you do, shy, not worthy of others help etc… Many used alcohol to feel better about themselves (I definitely did) she also said that being asked to be a sponsor is a great honour and the sponsor will be helped in their sobriety by passing on their knowledge so please don’t be afraid, reach out to someone who inspires you and you won’t regret it 
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@Oliverjava…the interesting thing is that I don’t mind being with myself…I actually prefer it. I eat at restaurants alone, go to movies alone, take mini trips alone etc. I am just not sure what/who I AM that I like. I just hate having to put on a show for others.
Oh God…I’m going through a SECOND midlife crisis. ROFL!!! 
But I don’t mind. Part of quitting drinking was so that I could live a good long time. If I’m lucky I’ll have another 45 years to figure this all out. 
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Get a new doctor and psychiatrist, personally I can’t even count how many psychologists and psychiatrists I went through until I found the one I connected too.
Finding professional help is like searching for a roommate… You have to go through countless of ones until you find a match.
Has for a sponsor, I use this app… I am not a call someone kind of person, I have always done things on my own and I have a therapist I talk too. however I am not saying don’t get a sponsor because they can be very helpful, like I said you might have to interview a few before you find the one you can click with.
Me too, I lova lova being alone… I always have…