I been there many a time had a drink thinking it would be ok, sorry to say it did not work out like that. I eventually wandered into the black hole of quicksand. From all my past relapses I have accepted I cannot drink, that’s tough, new learnings involved on how to fill the void and build my confidence. I found pacing myself soooo tiring and alcohol consuming my mind 24/7. Absistence leaves no grey areas.
Take care 
I read Porters book yesterday. It’s changed/enlightened the way I now look at alcohol. Probably simplified it too. 
I drank on the 30th of August last year after 7 months alcohol free. It was my partners birthday and we were staying in/having a meal in a nice hotel. I made a conscious decision to have wine. It wasn’t a reaction to craving, it was more out of curiosity and I actually felt apprehensive/nervous about doing it. I was shocked by how intoxicated I felt on one (large) glass, was wasted by the second and obviously had a large brandy to finish. Felt really under the weather the next day. Needless to say it was a slippery slope with an ever increasing gradient. A month or so of pseudomoderation led back to hiding spirit Consumption when popping out to get beer.
25 days alcohol free feels so much better than that malarkey, I’m not going to entertaint curiosity this time.
This alarms me. Because I know if it was me, it would be the foot in the door for a slow, gradual, initially barely perceptible decline back to rock bottom. The speed is logarithmic. It could play out over the course of months…
Christmas – special occasion right?
Then new year.
Then a friend’s celebration.
Then visiting an old friend.
Then a meal out.
Then a good day.
Then a bad day.
Then a normal day.
Then every other day.
Then everyday.
I would not risk letting that foot in the door, it’s not just one drink, or just one evening, it’s much more than that… It’s the mindset that alcohol is a treat, or it something that is going to improve your life. It’s buying into that herd mentality of believing all the advertising and rubbish ingrained into us that alcohol is apparently good.
By allowing that drink you are basically undoing your hard work, risking a return to rock bottom.
I have chased that good time with a thousand not so good times hoping I could find that good time again.
Unsuccessfully.
Its a slippery slope.
No one means for you to feel attacked, people are commenting because they are concerned and care. Many of us have been where you are and not one of us maintained long term occassional controlled drinking. It did not work for any one of us.
I personally don’t want you to experience the same slippery slope and for me that’s what I’m concerned about. It’s ringing mega alarm bells. You’ve admitted you have no control when to stop drinking, this one time you did but that’s the little taunting voice lying to you and giving you a false feeling of safety and success.
In all honesty, no one needs alcohol to stop feeling like a miserable shite. That’s a ‘surface’ response. In recovery, we need to dig deeper and treat the real cause of that feeling. Was it envy/ resentment/ romanticising the initial feeling from alcohol that made you feel miserable?
Please be careful and just try to consider the perspectives being shared here.
I had to reset my counter. I had 46 days in and just felt this desire. My kids were away on holiday for a week…so was my partner and I (she doesn’t really drink)
I had it in my mind it was to relax and just a couple drinks…but turned into a week of 4 or 5 bottles.
Not proud…especially how I treated my partner. No violence or hurtful things said…but more stumbling around like an idiot and sleeping on couch. Hungover, bloated. Etc.
Gotta pick myself up and start again. Unfortunately booze must be banned forever.
I guess the question is do you want to be sober or a normal drinker?
Well, first of all it’s okay to dust yourself off and start over again at day 1. Be careful thinking you didnt overdue it and so you can handle it. Alcohol is a toxin that your body will slowly, or quickly, require more and more to do the trick. Ive done it many times. We think we can handle it. We cannot. Better to be accountable and honest with yourself - there is nothing wrong about starting over! Good luck.
Staying sober means not drinking no matter what , 12 step program gives you a good defence against the first drink maybe try a meeting wish you well
When I was drinking and using I set all sorts of boundaries for myself. Eventually I violated every single one of them.
Me: I’ll never drink and drive.
Me later: If I can walk, or crawl, I can drive.
Timeline: Maybe a few years, probably less.
Me: I’ll never drink before work.
Me later: Does it count as before work if I lay back down?
Timeline: Under a year.
Me: if I spend less than $100 a day I can probably still pay my mortgage.
Me later: What mortgage??!?
Timeline: a few weeks
I have many more examples if you’d like.
Take it from someone who has been there. Your plan to only drink at weddings is going to fail. And when it does you will be worse off than you were when you quit drinking. I understand the illusion of wanting to drink normally, but that ship has sailed and it ain’t never coming back.
Sobriety is a marathon, but so is a relapse. Just because it went okay one, single time doesn’t mean it’s going to go okay in the future. You’re previous posts seem to indicate that you knew that at one time. Now I suspect your avoiding those posts and the people telling you to look at them because you know it’s true.
Remember all it takes is one drink to be right back where you were.
This is what I have to tell myself. Luckily I can remember the night when the ‘switch’ flipped.
Edited to correct an oopsie.
The other day, my 11 year old son said, when you start clapping, and you stop, you really didn’t stop, you’re just taking a long time in between claps.
This was a truly interesting observation from an inquisitive mind, and he’s right. We are all just taking a long time in between claps, but we never stop clapping.
It sounds like you’ve decided to continue to be a drinker, even if you are taking a long time in between claps. 
I went to my first wedding this past weekend after getting sober over 4 months ago. Was it tough? Absolutely. But I know now that I can get through it without drinking and still have a good time. Because I got through it, the next wedding I’ll be at in 5 weeks will be a little easier and I’m stronger because of it.
I’m only 25, so I understand the feeling of being young and believing the illusion that someday I’ll be able to drink normally at weddings, or on a Friday night out with friends, but I know in my heart that is BS and my addiction trying to take away everything I’ve worked for. I have a couple of stays in the detox to prove that I’ll never be able to drink normally again.
You’ll have to come to your own conclusions and what is best for you, but something tells me that you know there is still a problem if you’re updating a sober forum about this.
Good luck.
You’re not unique and you’re not alone in your thinking. This was written in 1939, from page 31 of “Alcoholics Anonymous”.
Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic. If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right- about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people!
Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums - we could increase the list ad infinitum.
We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly.
It’s funny how applicable something written almost 100 years ago can still be…I think I tried every single one of those excuses/methods of moderation listed. Numerous times.
It really is crazy how long alcohol has had the same type of terrible grip on people from so many generations and walks of life. Sorry for the brief derailment, but excellent share (and that’s coming from someone who’s never done AA 
)