I woke up feeling a lot shitty, with full nose and hardly breathing. Something turned off tonight. I remember how I woke up at 4am before and I felt like world doesn’t exist and that I’m only illusion.
I did what I did. And I’m sorry for myself and for you all. I’m just crying here, no idea who to tell about my depressive episode incoming again and that I relapsed and hurted myself, because I felt so unreal and so shitty.
The most breaking my heart is that few days ago I was so sure everything is gonna be okay and that I’m strong enough to everything survive… And now I’m just sitting, crying and bleeding, feeling like a mistake.
I will try to calm down and take care of myself and my cuts, but now I just need to cry it all.
I’m again a lot sorry, but I believe I can do it. How Kathleen Glasgow said, be strong and keep your shit together.
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Don’t be sorry for us. You’re here now. Take care of yourself and know you’re not alone. We’re in this together 
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I have also been so sure that I have it beat, only to be totally confused and disappointed by my actions a few hours later. You are not a mistake, you are you, with your ‘charm points’ and flaws, and fears and history, and you are working on yourself like we all are.
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