Hello everyone,
I planned to not have alcohol at all during 2024…
or even after that.
I wanted to get an early start in the beginning of December and ended up not drinking for almost 3 weeks.
But I drank during Christmas… and I feel sad about it.
It’s still not too late to begin my goal of no alcohol during 2024. But still… I feel really guilt about drinking alcohol before that.
I just need some support and motivation.
I am 25 and would drink everyday.
I also have a 4 year old son that I love very much and do not want him to see me as an alcoholic while he grows up to be a man.
Thank you for reading, hope you all had a great Christmas.
You haven’t failed anyone. Addiction, contrary to popular belief isn’t a moral failing, there are physiological, psychological and sociological components to addiction. You cannot stop drinking even though you want to, that is a hallmark trait of addiction. Your body is physically addicted. The first month (the first four months, really) is a tough time. Your body is still wired to crave alcohol and it takes some time to adjust to not having it. There is medication that you can take to curb your cravings. Antabuse is a medication to where if you drink any alcohol, it’ll make you sick. All you have to do is take one pill a day. It helps a lot of people. Consider it as an option…
It seems like you have the proper personal motivation to get help. You haven’t done anything wrong, you have an alcohol use disorder. That doesn’t make you bad.
The good thing is here you are ready to begin again. There’s lots of support here for you.
I’m glad you posted that you drank, how you feel about it and why you want to be sober.
I quit when I was just a year or so older than you for similar reasons.
I wanted to “ be there” 100%.
That was my “why”.
Not be wasted etcetera. I never once regretted it.
At the time I quit I thought I couldn’t have a life if I didn’t drink every day.
I stuck with it despite a tremendous amount of peer pressure to just have one, just drink and “have fun” etcetera and after not too long it was just something in my past and something I no longer thought about.
I didn’t drink.
Being accountable here is super beneficial. You can do this.
Totally normal. Addiction is insane: we give up everything and everyone we love, and in exchange we get one thing, our addiction. (Recovery is the opposite: we give up one thing, our addiction, and in return we get everything.) I’d be more surprised if you were not feeling sad.
Nothing to do at this point but get back in the saddle and make some changes. Obviously there’s something you were not doing, that you need to start doing. Give some thought to what you’ve seen people do that has been helpful for living a recovery life (which is more than just not using; a recovery life comes with new habits and mindsets). What are some new connections and new spaces you want to explore, to take your next step?
I think slow down and scale it right back my friend…i feel like you are putting way too much pressure on yourself with the goals and you wont drink in 2024 etc etc you have the will to stop the drinking and thats a great start so start just for today, today is all that matters right now…get that head on the pillow sober tonight is all you need to do for today then tomorrow you can repeat but stop looking so far ahead its really not helpful in the early days
Dont think about 2024. Take it one day at a time. A whole year might feel overwhelming at the beginning. Just make sure to not drink today. Tomorrow start all over again.
forgive yourself brother, take pride in your true desire for sobriety, for the responsibility you’re taking for your life and your son’s life, and take pride in those 3 weeks and the muscles you developed there. this relapse can teach you everything else you need to know moving forward - that drinking is probably always gonna make you feel bad. forgive of course but don’t ever forget this sadness and shame - use them as some of your many tools to avoid alcohol moving forward. you got this
As others have mentioned, set manageable goals. I say manageable and not smaller goals, because a day without alcohol is a monumental achievement! When we are tied into “day 2 of 365” etc we lose sight of now. A year can seem like such a long time and when we make the goal more bite sized it gives an opportunity to focus on today. Don’t think about being sober for a year, think about being sober today. A year will come and go before you know it.
Take a step back and ask yourself why you drank during the holidays. It’s not always as simple as “it was the holidays”. Maybe it was. But we usually make the decision to drink long before we actually drink.
We wish you well! No need to apologize to the community we are all routing for you
Pick a food you eat but your not crazy about…for me it would be an apple…so if i then say to myself i cant have the apple then miraculously i kinda want it…if i say to myself i will never eat an apple in 2024…i really want to eat an apple…if i say i can never eat apple ever again…im down the shop buying it and eating it on the way home…get what i mean? Thats just an analogy of something unimportant but when its an addictive substance instead that your putting so much pressure on yourself not to have then your setting yourself up for things to get alot harder. Dont have apples around, distract yourself from the apple with things that benefit you and it starts in time to lose its importance and place in your life
Hey Johnny, you can do it. I’m sober 669 days. You will feel better, the Urges are still there now and then but i feel So! In control. You didn’t fail you only hit a bump, so be good to yourself, just start again. Curt
Christmas is really hard. Lots of people around me are drinking. More than usually. It’s tough for me even after over 4 years so it’s even harder when you’re at beginning of your journey.
It’s great to see that despite the situation you’re here and unhappy about it. It’s a good sign you know.
I was trying to stop drinking for three years!! before I finally got it. It was long exhausting process for me. But I never gave up no matter how hard it was. I know you can get out of the cycle too.
Your feelings of guilt and similar feelings are normal. Give yourself a high five for trying to stop. At your age I did not even try to stop. I was 38 when I finally got a professional assessment (to determine just how bad I was and what I was addicted to altogether) and in April, God Willing, I will celebrate 31 years in continuous “recovery” which means I work a recovery program, which mine is the 12 Step Program. I required inpatient treatment to get well and I graduated after a month, did Aftercare, attended 5 meetings a week no matter what, and started my journey in recovery.
Speaking of the 12 Step Program, if I told you I can give you something you can use any day of the week and it costs nothing and would put you on the guaranteed pathway to solid recovery and better self esteem, would you be interested? Of course you would. The 12 Step Program has one requirement, and one only: a desire to stop drinking. That is it. Yes you work the 12 Steps for sure, you get a sponsor and you attend meetings, but that is easy compared to feeling the way you do and hanging on for dear life wondering when the other shoe is going to drop and you drink again. Why not give some meetings a try? I still attend them after almost 31 years, and if I can do that, surely you can attend a few where you live, my friend. Best wishes to you either way. MP
