I failed and this time I'm hoping that I can stay on course

Relapses
1

I just went through a bender.
Between Friday night and Monday night I drink 13 pints of vodka, not that I remember this but that’s what my partner said.
I went into the emergency room Tuesday morning.
They kept me overnight and admitted me and then released me yesterday (Wednesday) afternoon.
If it wasn’t for the fact that I definitely am going to lose my job if I don’t go to work today I might have stayed.
Now my anxiety is through the roof and I’m terrified I’m going to have a seizure or something.
I am so f****** disappointed in myself right now.

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Hi, first of all keep my fingers crossed for you, stay on the right track. 13 pints of vodka is equivalent to 6.1L which is approx 1.5 L per night. My max was I think 0.5L. If you’re not yellow after this and was even released from hospital, it means you have a very brave guardian angel. I would thank my angel every day for being with me :pray::hugs:

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Oh god
It really was a lot wasn’t it?
I could have f****** died.
This is so so bad
This is definitely my worst binge ever.

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Have you made some kind of plan in how to do this? Do you have alcohol in your house for example? Did the hospital suggest some type of aftercare, like rehab for example?

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Not really
They gavev me c some information, but I work M,T,TH,F 10a-8p and we’re a single income household so I can’t afford to take time off unfortunately.
I’m going to go back on meds and start going to therapy regularly. I’m also going to find some local meetings in my area and go every day if I have to. I don’t know what else to do…

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You can also try online meetings maybe? Then it’s easier to do a meeting a day?
Here is a link if you like: Find Online Addiction Recovery Meetings, Live Meetings, 12 step Programs: In The Rooms

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Hi @Nox.Nocturne I’m glad your alive mate please make sure you don’t have that amount of vodka near you again if you don’t have that much at your disposal you will be too intoxicated to get anymore .you really could of died !!!people choke on their own vomit an are gone because of comatose situation s like that you were really lucky you’ve got a partner :pray:t2: Get to that meeting I promise you by the time you leave that room you will have hope and strength you didn’t know existed. be kind to yourself today your doing the right thing and be honest with your partner about all you need to. I wish you well in your recovery and keep talking to us on here :+1:

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