It took me a long time to realize that Im not good at drinking. And by admitting my failure I could quit. Nobody ever wants to admit they are bad at something, especially something they do often. I was good at not getting sloppy and I could hold my liquor but I found it hard to stop once i started. Even if I didnt get shit faced I would be hung over. And after years of struggling to keep my intake low (buying lite beer, only buying small amounts, keeping it to the weekends etc.) I just found it easier to stop altogether. I was never an alcoholic but I abused alcohol. I was not good at it so I chose to stop.
If you are planning on stopping forever make a note of this post, come back to it from time to time. I was similar to yourself, once I started I found it hard to stop and became sick of the cycle of trying to control my intake whilst feeling like shit on Sunday because I had a “few drinks but didn’t get shit faced” like it was something to celebrate. Crazy. Anyway good luck man you’re not alone