You are not a piece of shit. You are human and you are not alone. I’m sure everyone here has felt that exact same way at one point. I’m hard on myself too but don’t beat yourself up just take it one day at a time.
You got to find a strong reason for not drinking. You also need to fill your day with other interests that help you self improve. I got back into mountain biking. I look forward to it. My son is my main reason though. You can only be defeated if you stop trying.
Hi Chito, not sleeping is a bummer because the more you worry about it the harder it gets. I find nothing wrong with using non-addictive sleeping pills for a time to break the cycle. I don’t know what’s available in your country but I have used premethazine on prescription and over the counter but they can make me groggy the next day. Melatonin I find is good and it’s out the system by morning. I had it in rehab but I’m the UK it needs a prescription but I got it from a reputable US source on the internet.