I didn’t make it. I have no idea how I’m going to do this without going away. My neighborhood is such a trigger for me. I travel for work sometimes so I’m not home to get them in the past. 6 months ago I got a job 20 minutes from the house. I’ve been doing about 5 to 6 everyday for the last 6 months. Yesterday was longest I went without them in the last 6 months. I want to stop but it is such a hard thing to do.
I’m not sure what “them” are, but if where you live is a cop spot you may want to move. When I quit using heroin I had to move. There was no way I would have survived. Also there are plenty of people in recovery that remain in bad areas and stay clean. Getting involved in a support group and becoming accountable to others can help greatly.
If stopping is hard for just one or two days, I think rehab would be the best choice here. Having the controlled environment would give the necessary jump start to recovery
And you’re not a failure
Your still alive so you havnt failed yet your still making it. Maybe try a NA meeting or somekind of 12 step program might help you to keep from using? I know when i was stuck in my use every thing i could think of was an excuse for me to keep using, life was a trigger for me, sometimes we just need to learn how to quit fooling ourselves if we really want it and need it, we find a way to start our recovery, a treatment center wouldnt be a bad option if you are serious about getting clean.