I feel so sad

#lgbtq
I feel sad because my gf for two years, we bought a house together. We were about to start having a baby. She cheated on me right before by kissing a coworker.

A little background. Christmas we had a fight because she was making some jokes to our roommate I didn’t appreciate. A bunch of shots in and empty stomach. I told her I didn’t feel appreciated and walked away. When I came back she said I ruined everything. Triggering to this unpleasant experience where I wasn’t giving her space. She wasn’t giving me affirmation. Other people were involved. It was embarrassing. Well. Now we’re in March and April, working past that but we still have bumps on the road. We were about to get pregnant, then she tells me she kissed her coeworker and has feelings for her. I feel so sad about this. We talk about it. It was all mature for a few days. Then I came home and I just drank and aggressively cleaned house. She texted me and realized I was drinking she said she was gonna go to the bar to think. This turned into me just being so upset. She didn’t go to the bar but instead again. I didn’t give her space and she didn’t give me affirmations. Leading into a unpleasant moment. To the next day she told me she doesn’t see this relationship as healthy. It’s just been a couple of times. We have a house together. Right now. I’m at my parents and I go back tomorrow and I’ve been giving her space. On our blink camera I noticed she’s not home tonight and she didn’t tell me. I’m soooo sad and in the dark. Just completely bummed out. I know my fit wasn’t pleasant and I should give her space and I tell her affirmation is what I need. Ugh so I vent and rant. Until the problems come to a solution

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I am sorry, this all sounds really tough. It sounds like she doesn’t want a baby right now and I don’t think bringing one into this situation is a good idea. Babies are intense and you lose a lot of yourself to them initially, and relationships are seriously tested. When you are both exhausted and prioritising a baby you can feel disconnected from each other, which I sense is a trigger for you.

I know it must be disappointing to have invested so much into this relationship, but maybe some time apart is a good idea? Has she said what she wants?

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