I feel like anything I do is never good enough. I’ve changed so many things throughout this relationship (mostly positive) and then there’s always something. He says we’re like an old married couple now because we don’t go out and do things. I don’t feel that way. We do get out. last weekend we spent the day at knoxberry farms with his family. This weekend we’re going to a cookout. There’s never a weekend that we’re just stuck in the house the WHOLE weekend. Plus we’re supposed to be trying to save money to move so I don’t get it. I’m beginning to think not drinking and going to the bars is going to become a problem in our relationship just as much as drinking. 
I can’t win.
Your life sounds awesome to me! I actually feel how your husband feels I’m bored,stuck. Same thing with us trying to save money, my husband is not a big drinker he actually can go out not wanting to get a drink. For me, I went out so I could get one. Hoping this will pass for you. We are in a city still 6 years no real friends and we do stay in a lot. Only time we do stuff when we go up visit family in Michigan. We are in ohio still 5 hr drive. I’m dreading winter myself. Hang in there hopefully he’ll realize it’s for the best!
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That’s a case of perception!
First you don’t need to go the bar, dance club or party to be not boring. Many people associate alcohol with fun, don’t ask why maybe the advertisements?
There was a point in my life where I wasn’t having fun unless I was drinking… Now, I think it’s fun to go on hike, catch a good movie, hanging out at home with friends and family, the list goes on and on. How can you live a fulfilling life drunk and hungover all the time?
People take for granted the limited time they have during the course of a day, month or a lifetime. Perhaps, it’s just the human experience? There are things a lot more important than alcohol.
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Have you asked him what he would like to do? Maybe drinking together was your couples time and you need to get that some other way? Sounds weird but does he need a chance to see you dressed up? An opportunity for you to flirt with him?
If you do go out in the evenings and do a few things like see live music, plays etc. it will probably still work out cheaper than two people hitting the bars pretty hard. It’s probably good not to swing the pendulum too far to the “totally responsible adults” side.
Maybe you should go dancing…OK I said it…Haha. It’s my answer for everything.
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Seems like such a simple thing but no I haven’t asked him. I have told him though that I’m open to suggestions the last time he told me he felt like we were getting old. There’s a huge lack of communication that has been our downfall the entire relationship. Its improved over the last two years but not significantly enough to me. I’m always down for hiking, live music, dancing ect. We’ve been to a few events here that I’ve taken the initiative to find and coordinate us going to. I wish he would put more effort into doing that besides just complaining about doing nothing. It’s pushing me away.
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You can probably still make it easier for him to come up with stuff. Look at the an upcoming shows site together, browse your city’s entertainment zine (Ours is called Now Toronto) or Facebook events.
However, it may be that he is stuck in the negative and it’s not up to you to know what he wants to do. I haven’t read all your post history. Did he get sober with you?
I usually look at what’s coming up myself but maybe it would actually make a difference doing it together. I also feel like we come to this negative space too often. I thought getting sober would eliminate a lot of that but maybe our issues are deeper than I thought.
No he didn’t get sober with me. He’s not really a big drinker. But he does enjoy having a drink and going out.