I hate new years

I don’t know about you guys but I can’t wait until this day is over. This is complete torture. I just want to sleep until it’s over. Today I’m feeling very weak and my usually supportive other half is selfishly not understanding why I’ve been on edge, irritable and extremely moody today. I’ve felt on the verge of tears all day. This is my second New Years sober but this is so much harder than last year. 453 days in and this might be one of the hardest yet. I’m really feeling it tonight and I feel like I have no one to talk to. I feel left out, I feel isolated, i am so angry. I have never ever felt so close to relapsing. I literally feel like I need someone to just hold me down while I kick and scream.

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The other day I was watching an ant with two missing legs carry a dead bee and I thought, strength sprouted from weakness harnesses the most power.

In a way you are at a vulnerable weak point and feeling temptation, but by acknowledging it and allowing yourself to feel angry you are harnessing your own power and control.

It’s OK to kick and scream into a pillow if you need too… it’s okay to vent… but it is not OK to give away all of the power that you have learned to harness and channel over the past year plus!

You are an inspiration and a beacon to those of us who need your shining example!

Cheers ( The kind with the pom-poms ) to you on this new year- Let it do its worse, because you will give it your best!!!

(Hug)

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Ps I hate New Years too :unamused:

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Thank you. No one truly understand except for us addicts. The way I feel today only makes sense to others like us. I needed a message like that thank you :heart:

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Your welcome. And likewise, it’s refreshing to know that even experienced sober triathletes tire out too. Non of us are exempt from giving in and resurrecting this aggressive wolf of addiction. No matter how long we’ve starved the bastard all it needs is one sip to completely restore itself to having control over us. As long as you deprive it, your still in control… that’s not easy for addicts.
Thank you for your honesty. It truly made me feel better at just how much I’m loathing this moment in new sobriety.

Tomorrow is a new day.

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I don’t know if its over where you are now but I hope you made it and didn’t give in to temptation, you are a massive inspiration to others having gone so long without drinking, you are not alone, hang in there, it will pass xxx

Thinking of you and hoping it went okay. I was grumpy as f*ck all day too. But I honestly felt better as soon as it was over. Hugs from me.

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It’s hard for me to imagine you grumpy with that profile pic. :joy: :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes::kissing_heart:

Have you read watership down? Good classic read

Hahah. Angry rabid rabbit I was. Sadly, I’ve never read Watership Down :grin: Know the song though :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

I made it guys!!! I just went to sleep. Something that has helped me countless times. Thank you. I say this all the time: it never ever gets easier but it’s worth it. Sometimes I’m so proud to be completely sober and other times I’m ashamed and feel so left out. I know that we are truly not missing anything though, addiction is such a strange disease.

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