Oh no, sorry to hear this. It is good that you reached out here. Stop drinking and using, get outside and take a walk, nap, cry, or hell, head back to your new place early…make up some excuse and just go. Or head to a meeting every day if you need that. Please don’t go down the rabbit hole. You are worth more than that.
And I am moving this post to the opt in Seeking Help section. Your notifications will take you there, but you should also opt in. It is a good place to post if you are actively using.