Hi, I had a blackout episode Sunday and have to quit. I’ve come to the realization that all the bad choices I have made have been because of alcohol and I have a loving partner who stands by me. But I can’t continue to jeopardize her or everything I’ve worked so hard for because of a drink. I feel so ashamed at the moment and I don’t understand why I can’t drink normally anymore but I have realized that I can’t. I need to change, I’m going to change. It’s early but I’m done with it, never going back.
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Welcome to b the forum John. Below is a link that will help you navigate the site more. If you need help or someone to talk to reach out.
Continuing the discussion from [Welcome to the forum! 2021 edition :)](Welcome to the forum! 2021 edition :)
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Thank you - I really appreciate it
Welcome to the forum. I finally gave up on asking “why cant I drink?” I just have to know and accept it daily. Sounds like you have love and support in your corner. That’s a great start. 
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Welcome!
This is huge to realize! Reach out when you need help. Expect cravings and triggers. Expect them, plan for them and you will be successful!
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Thanks guys don’t know why but just writing it down and having responses has really got to me.
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We’re all in the shit show of addiction together. Life is sooooo much easier sober
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@JohnUK i know how you feel — i’m on Day 2 and as soon as i posted yesterday, and received so many supportive responses, it just gave me a boost i didn’t have before. i feel so much more capable of this now, and i get inspired and motivated reading people’s shares and how far theyve come and how sobriety has changed their life. it really makes me want to be there, more than i want a drink or a smoke: i would rather be clean and proud, than ashamed and choosing to remain stuck in a toxic cycle. NO MORE!! we got this John 
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Thanks Julia. So pleased you’re on this journey too. We can be better and leave the toxic past behind
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Hey @JohnUK, welcome! Well done on taking the first and most important step of admitting you have a problem. My DOC (drug of choice) was also alcohol. I just can’t have one. I couldn’t understand what was wrong with me. Then I found this place. Just knowing that I wasn’t on my own was such a relief. I come here everyday and this is my only support tool. It’s an awesome place, so much information and support. I saw this video the other day and I wished I had seen it at the start of my journey. It’s definitely worth a watch it explains so much about how we got to where we were with booze…
Someone posted this about a year ago and it SSSOOO helped my understanding of addiction. I’ve been looking for it ever since. Whoever posted this a year ago, I’ll be more than happy to give you credit! It played a huge part in my recovery. I’m hoping It can help someone else as well.
If you can get yourself somewhere quiet and watch it I promise it will help. I wish you well and look forward to seeing you around 
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Day 5 - read and listened to so many podcasts and feel empowered. Feel a lot clearer today. Read that structure is important and I think I’m going to creat a daily structure for me. Also looking into meditation so interested if anyone has looked into that. Love to everyone
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Nice one, well done on day 5, that’s all I did early days was online meetings and podcasts…I’m sure peeps will put up some stuff they listen to…I like Deepak chopra,and Buddhist ones ,can’t remember the name of the guy I listened to…he was like a modern day skater looking Buddhist!. I have a subscription to gaia.com aswell which has cool documentaries and series on all sorts…from healing to spiritual stuff to ancient civilization stuff,yoga, meditation…
don’t pick up, no matter what and do the same tomorrow 
