I started binge drinking almost daily 20 years ago. I was 13. I have never been able to have one or two. When i met my husband, we were both 7 night a week , blackout drunk. Within the last few years,
It has tapered to just a few days a week. Last year, I embarrassed myself and steered clear of it all for 40 days. I was sooo impressed with myself. So impressed, that I went on a 4 day bender. 61 days ago , I wrapped up a 3 day bender and decided it was time for another little break. A few days in, I decided to devise a plan! I was going to save money for a vacation by avoiding booze, and bars. So far, my willingness to give my husband an awesome 40th birthday has kept me reigned in, but I can feel the need bubbling within. The need to get wrecked. The need to blow off steam. The need to blow an entire days pay. My goal I keep telling myself is 208 days. That’s all you need to make it to. 208. So, I hope at day 208, my attitude towards sobriety has adjusted some. As of now, I’m using my husband as a reason, eventually I need to use myself as the reason. Keep up the good fight, guys.
Right now, I’m kind of in the “screw sobriety” mindset. I really need that to change. I am forcing myself, every single day, to just go home. Just make it home after work, and you will be safe. Go the f home, Ashley. Your anxiety won’t get better after drinking, in fact it usually gets worse. Go home. It is so. Hard.
I’ve been in that stage, and then moved on, and then got back in it, etc. It comes in waves for me. Sometimes I’m like, yeah sobriety for life! And then there are my dark days where I don’t give af and for damn sure I’m not doing this forever.
All I can say is that it does pass, you won’t feel like that forever, and when you do it doesn’t last as long (with time).
I wI’ll download it right now!
That’s my goal, to get to 60 days. And if I get there, I’ll never have a drink again..
Congrats!!! 
I’m sure you will mae it to 60! Its not easy, but I am finally starting to feel better.
I’m glad you’re feeling better! That’s one of the main reasons I do this. Basically I’m tired of feeling sick and tired…
61 has been hard.
I’m sorry to hear that.. I’m only on my day 5 (after couple months of constant relapsing on day 2-3), but I feel great.
Please don’t relapse now 
don’t throw your 2 sober months down the drain.
Much love, and take care.
P.S. sorry for bad grammar, English is not my native language
I made it through! Thank you for your encouragement.
I’m glad you did! That’s great motivation for me too