I am a poly addict. Alcohol was my worst addiction, followed by amphetamine and benzos but I used anything I could get. I was homeless but got into a long term rehab facility. I built a good life for myself in sobriety and was happy. I have an amazing girlfriend and supportive family. I have a great career, I managed to buy 2 houses, just bought a brand new truck and boat… and here I am coming down from a week long meth binge. I probably used a gram of meth yesterday alone and have been eating Xanax like candy to mitigate the paranoia and take the edge off. I’m sure my girl friend has noticed I’ve been different but I don’t think she suspects drugs. I don’t know what to do, I really messed up bag.
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The most important thing is not to use anything now. Get yourself some help right now! You’re here, that’s good. What help can you get more? This has to end right here right now. Or you might lose all you have. You should tell your girlfriend. Ruthless honesty remember. A meeting of some kind might be good. A safe drug free place might be good. A doctor might be good. You cannot solve this alone. That’s what got you here. I’m glad you’re here. There’s always hope. Read around, especially at threads for newcomers. Success!
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I agree but am absolutely terrified. 4 years ago I relocated and moved across the country to come move in with her. If she ends the relationship over this, Im not sure where I would go.
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I understand that. It’s very scary. And it’s a risk. Still it absolutely needs to be done yes? Our lives, our relationships, they have to be built on trust. On honesty. Otherwise what are they worth? Well you know. Wishing you the strength to take the right decision and do the right thing friend. Which includes not doing any drugs anymore right now.
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One day at a time.
Relapsing doesn’t take away from the progress you made! You’ve proven you can create a beautiful life and stay sober. Commit to staying sober today and surround yourself with people that support your sobriety
Sending you love and encouragement. You can do this 
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It is possible to start over and build back better. I’ll echo @Mno, get rid of anything you have now, stop using now, be honest. If you lie about this relapse and put together some sober time, the lack of disclosure will eat you up and undermine your efforts. That’s what happened to me every time I tried to hide a slip - I could not maintain the lie and my renewed sobriety simultaneously.
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I am very close with my original recovery counselor from the treatment center I went to. She knows me better than anybody and I really trust her.
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Well that surely sucks, but as everyone has said, it is time for honesty and getting back to sobriety. Get rid of it all and get back in touch with your recovery counselor. And please be honest with your GF. You messed up and now you clean it up. This isn’t a life sentence. Face it now and move forward in total sobriety. A hard lesson to learn, but here we are. You can do this.
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Thank you. I’m just really scared right now
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Thank you. I know I have to be honest. I’m just overwhelmed right now. It wasn’t a small slip up. I was IVing meth. I feel disgusting
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Yes I know the feeling. You aren’t alone 
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The fear, the guilt… please be honest with your loved ones. This doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, you fucked up though, yes. Start today with a sense of purpose, or try to. If you continue to bash yourself that will become a crutch. You know what you need to do already and I’m betting you can do it again! ODAAT…
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I think most of us have walked some really dark paths. That doesn’t change our worth. We can let the guilt and shame drag us down further, or we can get on with life. @Chelle267 said it real well. Don’t give up on yourself.
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Get rid of the drugs. Come down. Get some sleep. Welçome to awesome support.
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You are resilient, you showed that with everything you’ve done to get 10 yrs. You’ll be ok! Clear out anything left, throw away triggers, be honest with her, and reach out to local supports. Plus we will all be here right in your pocket lol.
I messed up last week, almost 9 yrs clean. The guilt of letting myself down far outweighed how others felt about it, and the shame left as soon as I was honest.
One day at a time 
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Update. I spoke with my recovery counselor. The drugs are all gone. My girlfriend is away for a few hours but I think we are doing a 3 way call to talk about what happened when she gets home
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This is great news @Brock. You can get back to where you were without falling any further. You are worthy of a good sober life. I have heard it said so many times that for some people relapse is a part of recovery. I am so glad for you that you stopped when you did. You KNOW it could have ended very badly but it didn’t. It took a lot of strength to call your recovery counselor and come clean. Summon that strength again to talk to your girlfriend. Wishing you well. 
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Around the 6 month mark when I quit drinking, I was overly preoccupied with thoughts that I would relapse. The more days I banked AF I found relief and a belief that I can stay AF. I am not complacent. I am able to work through the very random and infrequent thoughts of alcohol without the discomfort from the early days. As I approach the 2.5 year mark AF I find shares like
yours bring back those thoughts and fears of relapse again. I know we always have to work on our addiction and are never free and clear, but what is it that brings a relapse after so many years? I hope this question is not a rude or inappropriate one @Catk. I want so badly to stay clean and if I know of possible pitfalls I feel like it helps me to know that I can.
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I also want to add that relapse may be a strong term for your experience @Catk. You are already back here and that sounds more like a slip. I hope you are feeling encouraged today because you already know you can do it because you did.
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I love your honesty! 
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