Hey guys. About to hit 13 days sober from alcohol but there’s no celebrating here. I let my boyfriend move back in because he promised promised he’d only smoke weed and not bring alcohol into our new home and he said no drugs. Well I found out today he’s had coke and went and got more tonight so of course I did some and smoked a few ciggs and I just kind of feel like crying. I just can’t say no if its around and he’s the last person that uses I have ANY contact with. I’ve told him about my using nightmares and how I cannot under any circumstance maintain living with drugs or alcohol in my life. I told him again tonight this has to be the last time or were splitting up but I said that before and he just won’t respect it. I’m so upset I want to believe he will stop because every time it just brings me down and I love him so much. So I felt the need to share because I really don’t know what else to do. I want to live happy joyous and free and my gut is in knots now. I could use some encouragement. Thanks
I agree, you have tomorrow to look forward to! Remember to stay strong for yourself and as long as you have a goal in mind your not failing 
There are a lot of things out there that we love or the to use but that doesn’t mean they are good for us or our sobriety. You know you can do this!! We all believe in you! We have your back no matter what 
Ash, I did the same thing for 6 years. He’s no good for you. You need to do what’s best for YOU and your future. I know it’s hard. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Please think about your boundries and how it makes you feel after taking a couple steps back. It’s an endless cycle when you’re with someone who doesn’t respect your decision to better yourself. If you are going to be with someone they need to be supportive and lift you up, not bring you down. You can always DM me if you need anything. I know exactly what it’s like. I’m so sorry you’re going through this!
@Ash…I’m sure you’ve heard it before “Nothing changes if nothing changes”…sometimes we have to kick out or remove ourselves away from toxic people. YOU can’t change HIM, but you can change yourself. Recovery is not easy at first because sometimes we have to stand up for ourselves and make uncomfortable choices in order to get healthy. In order to save our lives! You have a choice here, albeit a difficult one, it is YOUR choice, stay stuck where you’re at, or take a leap of faith and do what you know you need to do to stay sober. And if you need to cry, cry🌹
I agree with @Lise and @MicheleH
If he doesn’t respect your need to grow as a person, he is not ready for a relationship and is only holding you back.Dont allow that to happen, everyone deserves to be happy.If he doesn’t care, then he never will ya know?
I’m sorry.
I also agree.
You need to be selfish when it comes to your own happiness. This is your life to live, so you should do so on your own terms.
If he loved you the way you loved him, he would support your journey instead of holding you back. Perhaps moving on might get your point across of just how serious you are about this new lifestyle.
I understand that love complicates things, but sometimes it is good to let go. Think positive and stay strong.
I agree with just about everyone else. This guy doesn’t truly care about you if he is going to enable. You need to remove yourself and get out of toxic relationships and situations no matter the cost. We all need to fully commit to our sobriety, which means there will be collateral damage. I take a ‘if you’re not with me, you’re against me’ approach. STAY strong! I’M me if you need a friend.
You need to focus on you. If he is bringing you down and affecting your recovery and can’t respect your recovery… well think you answered your own question
Thank you so much for your thoughts guys! I have gone like half way thru with ending the relationship for good 3 times. This last time I was so sure it was over for real. But after a few days we set some standards we both agreed to decided to try once again. I really just was happier and looked better even just not smoking pot. Next time I’ll tell him to leave. Your right, he needs me to prove to him I mean it when I say my sobriety and well being is top priority
Thank you again. For all being so supportive. I will get this. Giving up stopped being an option some time ago
That’s awesome to hear!
Only you know what the best choices are for your life, so listen to your gut.
You love him, but is he acting loving and supportive to you? Sometimes the hardest thing for me is to make good choices for myself.