I know I need to stop drinking but everyday I do something reminds me to keep going or something if life gets me super depressed…
I feel like I have lost control of my whole life. Idk what to do from here. 
You have more power than you know, it may not feel like your life has meaning but it does. Drinking has been my biggest obstacle but this time I won’t go back. You haven’t failed, you just haven’t been successful at consistency that’s all. Stay strong.
Good morning I understand I have had so many day 1’s I lost track. There was some things I read in here under on of the topics on getting start that we should get the book call Alcohol Explained by William Potter. I bought it on Amazon and started reading it yesterday. I am weening off the Vodka and starting there. Hopefully this time will be better. I wish you the best of luck, don’t give up!
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What tools are you using to stay sober? If they are not working for you my advice would be look at things to add or a different approach.
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Hi Ash,
The trick to stopping drinking is to stay stopped until we get to bed sober each night. And that can be very difficult, I know.
Maybe an inpatient detox would be a place to start for you, or an inpatient or outpatient rehab. These things require a full daily commitment to staying sober. It was impossible for me to live my usual life and stay sober. So my life was upended for a while and I was able to stick with not drinking each day.
Growing our sobriety is different from not drinking. I hope you find a way to start that growth soon, maybe even today.
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Easy try a meeting if you think youve got a problem then maybe a meeting might help wish you well
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I liver on here in the beginning. I also found a recovery program… might want to check out AA or SMART. There are plenty of on line meetings.
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I remember how often I told myself no, no I won’t drink today. This resolution was mostly gone by 5 pm, latest. It was so automated, me going to the supermarket, buying a bottle of wine, get home, drown it, fall into bed half unconscious.
Nothing I read made sense, no ODAAT. I didn’t understand that not drinking the first glas made sense. When someone gave me an advice I felt like being laughed at, like: yeah, youuuu but meeeee?
In the end it was an uneventful night, I knelt down an prayed, begged for help and strength to get me through the day, without going to the station. I am not a religious person I must say. I needed to start somewhere.
Writing it down here often helped to get difficult feelings and thoughts out, get them processed.
It all starts with day one and you can do it. Many of us did.
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I read something once that stuck with me. That life is supposed to hurt sometimes, because it means we are living it. That nobodies life is perfect. It brought me a sense of comfort. That maybe I didn’t need to numb during those hard times. That they meant that I was in fact living my life. I hope this helps a little. Sending strength for your journey 
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