Last night, after 12 days, I relapsed. I don’t have any excuses or reasons as to why, I’ve been struggling and it happened. I think it’s very difficult when you have it stored away in the home, im thinking of throwing all of it away but that sense of definitity is really scary for me.
I’m looking for helpful advice as well as maybe any stories of how it got better for any of you or in general your stories.
I can’t believe how supportive this community is, and I just want to say I am proud of you all for what you are all doing.
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Thank you so much lorelai, I really appreciate your advice. I completely agree with the home shouldn’t feel like a scared place, it should feel comforting and peaceful and safe. I hope you are doing good.
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Throw it out! Treat yourseld to a nice dinner, or a movie…do something special for yourself. Throwing it out is a big deal, and will help you.
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Looking4Support, I cannot express in words how much your reply means to me and how well it was put. You are great with your words. Thank you SO, SO much. You seem like a very intelligent and caring person, I sincerely appreciate your reply.
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Thank you so much Thirdmonkey, that sounds like a wonderful idea!
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Which is honestly a very amazing and beautiful thing, I very much give you a ton of credit.
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Yeah get rid of the booze, u might actually feel a little better once you do…it felt kinda freeing when i did it, dont look at the definitives…that and thinking too far ahead is too much at first, try to stay in the moment as much as you can, for now get rid of the booze, get your basics down ie food, hydration, vitamins, sleep and hitting that pillow tonight sober.
We all understand here…you dont have to do any of this alone infact i suggest u dont, we all need each other…talk and vent asmuch as you need to here, we will support u 
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Starlight14, thank you so much for your sound advice. It’s amazingly comforting to know that this community is such a wonderful place for advice, support and encouragement. I hope you are doing good, I appreciate your reply.
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Your welcome, im glad your here with us, i joined around 14 months ago and ive been here pretty much every day since and managed to stay sober…if i can do it you can too
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I totally get this, having it feels like it’s your choice to quit, it also feels like a safety net in case you can’t quit. Getting rid of it signifies the commitment to quit, and maybe you’re not really ready to commit. That’s what I thought when I did the same thing, over… and over and over, until I realized…
What it is, it’s temptation. You’re not weak, you can quit. You don’t need it and you don’t need the temptation. It’s only poison, throw it out. There’s no value in it; the money it cost it already spent and gone, there’s no getting it back. Throw it out, you don’t need it.
It will be ok, you’re not alone. You can do it.
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HoofHearted, I’m officially in tears. I cannot appreciate your reply more. Thank you so incredibly much for such sound advice it means the world to me.
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Thank you for sharing your heart…it’s brave! The struggle is real. The war and battle in your mind is no joke. But you came on here and posted and you picked yourself up again! You have the support here…always. We’ve been there so we can relate.
For as many times I poured that poison down the sink…I’d be a rich man lol. All it took was a decision. A hard look at myself. And a hard look at life. After wasting 30 years of my precious life…that I’ll never get back again…I knew there needed to be a change. It truly was life or death.
I hear ya. Even with pouring down the wretched stuff I would still keep my shot glasses in the cupboard. You know, (just in case). Who was I fooling? That was just giving me an out. A “safety net” as someone mentioned here. It’s true.
Honestly for me it was all or none. It was the only way to obtain sobriety in a clear and healthy way. Not tapering off. Not just weekends. Not switching to beer. I had to go ALL IN. Seriously, who are we fooling? Who was I fooling and faking? If your not honest with yourself…then expect to lose that contention…every single time. When I could look in the mirror…When I can stop the streams of tears of being frustrated and beaten, (at my own game)…When I can decide once and for all that I need to do this for me, and not anyone else?!
THEN…then your mind, spirit and body become one. In unison to align with the new path of clarity, being present, healthy and aware of what this beautiful life has to offer you. Embrace it wholeheartedly and don’t let go…since it’s a gift that is only unique to you, and you only. Treasure it. Protect it. Cherish all of it. For this life is short, unpredictable and at times scary. At least knowing your true self and the victory that comes with it will set you apart and within so that you may experience a satisfying and wonderful experience through your journey that you call yours.
I believe in you. And you can do it. Because this group and forum has believed in me…and now I’m doing it. At the core, isn’t what this is all about? It’s beautiful. Praying for you 
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