You did it once you can do it again! That’s what I was told when I got this second cps case. They took my kids and it was due to my honesty admitting that I had a relapse and (apparently it’s part of recovery) but my kids were still taken and I can not forgive myself and now find it hard to be honest . Long story short I could not stay sober after a year and a half of rehab and outpatient drug classes , aa , na meetings. I feel horrible and don’t know how to go on like this?
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One day at a time. If you give up now the situation doesn’t change. Yes it might take time, but if you make changes now there’s always hope. Let your kids be your motivation!!
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Welcome to the community Ness. I am so sorry that you are struggling right now.
Keep your kids as a motivation but you really have to become sober for you and only you if you want it to stick. I see that you have already tried a few avenues and have not found success. Are you entering into sobriety with notion that it is temporary? If we feel like we are being forced to do something or that it is only for a short term then our minds aren’t really committing to the end results.
Are you seeing a therapist or counselor to help you sort out what is the driving factor and how to change this to better suit you?
Stick with sobriety - not just for a better future with your kids but for your health and mental stability. At first it will be super tough as you fight the urges and learn to feel all the feelings that have be surprised and you learn to live life on life’s terms. Trust me - it gets easier and is so worth it.
This community has been super helpful for me in my journey. Even if i don’t feel like talking - just reading the threads and others journeys is motivation to keep going strong.
i would suggest changing up your routines, making sure you don’t have anything at home, change up your social circles for a while or for good (depending on how they benefit you), keep yourself busy, give meetings another shot and possibly find a sponsor that you can click with.
Hold on to the horrible feeling so that its a reminder when the urges get strong. This is not something we can kick alone - create your support system and can beat this addiction.
Great to have you here - hope to see you on the threads 
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Hello Ness! Sorry to read this. But now you need to fight your addiction cause your kids needs you. Use that motivation to fight hard. YOU CAN DO IT. I BELIEVE IN YOU
Seems harsh of the state to take your kids away just because you admitted to drinking one time…
I feel for you. Unfortunately, “trying” doesn’t count with some agencies. What matters is to reconcile yourself to this fact - if you want what CPS can offer you (to return your children to you), you must do what they ask. Fair or not fair, whether you want to or not, this is the way of things.
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Hi Ness,
The nice part abput this place is you have people from all walks in their recovery/non-using journey.
I found AA gave me such an amazing foundatipn for my life as a young woman, that I had a really hard time acknowleding that its okay for me that I needed something different when I became a mom. Its been a journey, but I honestly didnt know peoppe got sober any other way. If you do or cannot get sober in AA, you and your disease are the problem. This may or may not be true, but I believe that if AA is working for you or you feel a tug there stick witj it. AA had the absolute ability to change your life, perspective on life and yourself and if you go all inbthere the Promises do come true.
If you feel its not for you for whatever reason, thats okay. Come here, ask around, see what others are doing and trying. There are all kinds of other quit lits that still focus on abstinence. If you want this you can absolutely do it.
I dont wsnt to pile too much on you here bc i imagine youre hurting. And i imagine the loss of ypur kids is pulling you 2 places:
- To drink and use more
- To quit…BUT HOW?
Just because what you did before didnt work doesnt mean IT WONT WORK. It may be hard, but also in some ways it wont be hard once it hits right. And thats what this whole journey is about for a lot of us, is finding that sweet spot in our non-using journey where it means more to us to be how wr are, we cant even imagine using again. Its sounds crazy, but its possible. If its hard everyday that means theres still growth to happen.
Wishing you luck with your children. I do not have a good view of CPS, in my country they have a very bad reputation. But I hope this is a turning point for you, and thpugh they may be a shit agency where you are too…know tjis. They stepped in now, and maybe that saves your children and you feom having tp gp deeper down a road you cannot turn back from. Maybe one day you will be grateful for this (I do not mean to sound preachy or insane, not grateful for this happening to you but that it happwned…I have a moment like that for me. I am a mother of 3.)
Sending you strength & love. Come back here each day, it will help xo.
Glad you’ve come here where you can talk about this and have caring support to help you do what you have to do to get your children back. ODAAT
Thank you so much!
Thank you so much for the support and responses!I always been big on sharing but this is one of those things that make me not want to be honest about anything anymore !