3 days ago i decided to sober up and accept I cannot drink. Ever again.
And it rips my heart in two. I’m a restaurant owner and chef worked at some of the best restaurants in the world. All inn. 320houre monts for years. Open own restaurant. Closed some. Wine nut! Trawled and drunk the best wines out there. And the all alluring chase for the best food wine pairing ever. That’s no gone. I now it. I can’t handle drinking. My family is fed up. My investors. Me….. went clean a couple years back. But just to get some control back. No I see I gotta accept that this is me from now on.
Doing AA again. Feels good. But I’m an all in guy so signe a program with my doctors. Blood test every 2 weeks. If fails my driving license will be taken. And obviously my family goes an I will be fired for the restaurant I also am one of the owners.
So all my chips are ont the table. I’m motivated as never before. But still. My hart is broken.
Welcome Jonny . It’s normal to grieve. I remember feeling like I was giving up my best friend. Alcohol wasn’t my best friend though, it was stealing my life… robbing me of the things that really mattered. Don’t look at alcohol with rose colored glasses. See it for what it is.
Forever can be a scary thought, it will help to try to think about sobriety one day at a time.
From what you said, it sounds like you’re almost in something of a rock bottom and on the verge of losing a lot. Dig deep and rationalise the root cause of your problems and it will probably lead you to alcohol, addiction/AUD.
I’m glad you have chosen sobriety and yourself over alcohol. It’s not going to be an easy ride but I can assure you it gets easier.
Go easy on yourself.
Spot on, Dan531. Describing it as giving up a best friend is so accurate. Reframing how we look at alcohol and takigg off those rose-colored glasses is exactly what helps the healing process start.
Jonny, your passion for food and flavor doesnt disappear just because the alcohol does. anny world-class chefs hve thrvved and rediscovered their palate after going sober. You can absolutely protect your restaurant, your family, and your health. One day at a time chef !
Yeah the grief is painful. I can´t imagine how difficult it is to stay in the same environment where you drank or at least have the access to all the best wines and all.
It feels like a huge weight to carry, the consequences you´ll face when you´ll relapse. It can motivate you for sure, but it´s also a heavy cloud above you.
I wish you lots of strenght as well as selflove to be able to handle this all
Welcome, My guess is half the dishes in your kitchen is made with alcohol. That’ll be the real challenge. How you are going to taste test all the food that needs to go out quickly and not set off the cravings?
You could open a lesser dry restaurant and run that, or maybe backseat the main thing or train others to be you. Or do something new entirely you know your life well enough.
Only the family can leave anyway. If they are going to we don’t usually get much say in the matter. I will say a sober single father looks far better to a judge than someone still dabbling so practice now whilst the going’s easy and less mud will be thrown your way in times to come. And if they don’t leave well.. you win both in business and in life. Good luck bro 07
Really understand you how it feels. But I will be honest that for me that feeling of heart broken is fading away and what is replacing it after a year and a half is being proud of myself how I decided to take my life in my hands and control.
I feel you are strong enough to handle this, just try to take it day by day, I promise to you that it will feel much easier with time. Honestly first few months are the most difficult and challening ones. Be proud of yourself that you are trying to be better version of you and we all understand how hard it is. Reachout to me if I can assist anyhow.
. It’s normal to grieve. I remember feeling like I was giving up my best friend. Alcohol wasn’t my best friend though, it was stealing my life… robbing me of the things that really mattered. Don’t look at alcohol with rose colored glasses. See it for what it is.
I know it’s the devil for me.
