I first came clean off meth- 9/11/2013. I’ve been clean off meth since. I then relapsed to drinking and other drugs May 2016. I was stuck there till 7/7/2017 when I left my friends who used and went to rehab again this time it was weed. I’ve been clean till dec 2020 when I relapsed with my babies father and then moved thousands of miles away. I recently was having a difficult time here- where I live. I’m very isolated with three boys. They take a lot of my time and I love being there for them, especially clean and sober. Every moment hard or easy I’m so incredibly grateful for. I would talk to my ex here and there, let him FaceTime with our (now 3yrs old) i made a mistake by telling him the challenges i was facing, how hard and sad it was to see my babies grow and trive without their fathers etc. He is a capt. save a ho. he told me he changed to move back to his house rent free, he loves us so much blah blah etc etc. i go there over spring break just to see how much he really did “change” and the second day we were there i find out he has a serious girlfriend who has three boy and im sure he is promising the world to. anyways i go back home - far away from him. i talked to the other girl and shes amazing - just like me- she breaks up with him. obvious choice right? i feel like i have to keep in touch with this man because we have a child together. nothing serious until we start talking all the time- he saus hes not with her and then he is and he keeps messaging me thinking its her (we have almost the same name!) and im like wtf. then he calls me up and tells me theyre completely over. i tell him im not his rebound etc. and to delete me from his life. he accidently messages me again to her saying "what do i need to do, I messaged you many times but yeah I’m blocked” I never blocked him. It was her he was trying to send that to and I told him. He said he was so sorry. I blocked him from everything to idk think… get over him etc but I keep checking the one place I can’t figure out how to block him from- my email. He hasn’t emailed me, but I’m sure in time he will asking to see our son. I feel too weak to resist him if he does email me. It’s like a drug. I have two days clean and sober from this man. It’s so difficult not to talk to her about this and unblock him and talk to him. I’m just trying to get my head strait but I want all that he’s promised and he makes me feel good… loved like a drug.
It certainly can be. Maybe SLAA meetings might help? It would be helpful to have that kind of support available and might give you direction or at least help answer some underlying questions.
I hope you feel better.soon, keep taking it one.day at a time.
Stay the course! Get a good relationshup
Thank you but i think that’s the problem, im not ready for a relationship and right now, this second, im ok with that. I feel a lot better about this today- i felt out of control until I just said “stop” and “I’m done” and a few other choice words. My boundaries are set and im going to take it one day at a time 
thank you for your replies and advice just looking outside of myself and into your advice helped me to see a little clearer. And i did check out slaa thank you
Tough times don’t last
Tough people do
I get it that one person who’s just toxic and no good for you, but they’ll get you weak in the knees. At one swipe, it is a drug it’s a bitch and it’s hard to kick
Blocking him is a start, boundaries are an excellent idea, make it clear that the only communication you shall have with him is regarding his child, if he strays from that tell him when he wants to speak about his child and or visit, he’s more than welcome to do so
My kids mom was like that; my children became pawns in the game, she’d use them to get to me, when I put my foot down the tables turned fast, unfortunately she cut them off for a bit as well.
I’m so sorry to hear that. I hate setting such strict boundaries. I think the more healthy love in my babies lives is what’s best for them. Hopefully someday things will be better between us but I just need the boundaries right now. Thank you for your reply!