I wish I could just have a couple glasses of wine and leave it at that. But the reality is that lately, once I start drinking, I can keep drinking for days.
It hurts to admit that moderation doesn’t seem to be working for me. Part of me feels like I should be strong enough to control it, but I’m starting to realize that maybe this isn’t about being strong or weak.
I think stopping completely might be the best thing for me. That thought scares me a little, but I’m here because I want to try.
Take it one day at a time. Commit to today. Strive for tomorrow. And when tomorrow gets here chose again to commit to go to bed sober. For me think forever terms messes with my mind. So I take each day that I’m in and commit to it.
Welcome to Talking Sober! This is a wonderful community of like-minded people. We’re all facing similar struggles, but we are staying sober one day at a time. Just one day at a time. Take a look around and read through some of the posts!
You can do it 
I can remember these feelings and thoughts. I wasted so many years trying to control my drinking, I think it started during university years my unhealthy relationship with alcohol. And it lasted then roughly 20 years of somehow controlled to completely uncontrolled drinking. Now, almost 8 years sober I can say: come to the other side. It’s so worth it. From sleep, to no hangovers, less anxiety, better poop, being able to remember things the next morning, being less ashamed of myself. It’s not all bright and sunny here but at least I have the possibility to work towards improving my situation.
Welcome to Talking Sober, friend. Your thoughts about stopping completely are a bit scary, as they are for pretty much everyone. While I have been asked directly from time to time if I will ever drink again, my day to day experience is that I’m not drinking today and probably not tomorrow. I learned through bitter experience to let tomorrow take care of itself, and to take the actions today that will get me through to tomorrow, sober.
What can you do to stay sober today, just until it’s time to lay your head down tonight? There are lots of ways to do that, and folks here are willing to share their stories and experience of what has worked for them and what has not worked for them. Stick around, read a lot, use that search bar to find topics of interest to you, and you’ll have a good start.
Blessings on your house 
as you begin your journey!
The realization that we can’t moderate our drinking is hard to accept @Anamsolas . The reality is that no amount of alcohol is considered safe, not even the previously touted one drink per day for women and two drinks for men. I will just echo what everyone has said so far and that is to take it one day at a time. Give yourself as much time getting sober as you have given to alcohol. You can learn a lot from this forum about coping techniques and resources to try. One thing that helped me immensely at first was reading This Naked Mind. The benefits that I have gained from quitting alcohol almost 2.5 years are AMAZING. My life isn’t magical, I still have troubles at times but I handle them so much better.
I couldn’t moderate either, even though I tried, every time I drank. I foolishly thought, this is the time I only have one or two drinks….
Quitting is scary, there are a lot of “what abouts?” early on, that’s normal, and after a while, you find it’s not THAT bad, in fact, it’s quite nice! I’ve never woke up sober on a Saturday morning and said, “gee, sure wish I got drunk last night”. 
Glad you’re here, welcome to the show!
It sounds like you have real insight into your situation. I was the same way; having one glass of wine turned on the desire for more. It’s far easier, after the initial challenges are overcome, to simply stay sober. One day at a time, we really can put together a new life.