Welcome, from a former wine drinker, though I ended buying boxes and have no clue how much I was drinking at the worst times. You have made a brave choice. I’m glad you posted to introduce yourself and engage with this community. It was the single most valuable thing to me in the early days of trying on sobriety and getting to the point where I truly wanted to get the alcohol monkey off my back for good. So good that you use the journal too! I don’t have kids, but I also drank alone and in secret and know the guilt and shame that came with it for me, anyway. Feel free to message me anytime.
Have you worked out a plan for how you’re going to work toward getting and staying sober? It helped me a lot to write things out. I’d also recommend you look at this thread if you haven’t already:
Change your relationship with alcohol
I love how he lays it out.
Hang in there and welcome! Rosa