My mum has been alcohol dependent for at least six years, but the last three years have been worse. She lost her mum my grandma) last year, it wasn’t expected but she died in pain. We both have nursing careers and worked in palliative care too so we knew the process but it never makes it easy when it’s your own family.
As expected she has become much worse, but now experiencing lots of memory and conigitve problems. And it worsens a lot when she’s drinking or after she has drank a few days after. She forgets what she is saying, doesn’t understand things in conversation as well, forgets how to use her phone, such as taking a screenshot, which she has known how to do and performed many of times. Simple things that she is forgetting or repeating thr conversation several times. She thinks she’s smart by hiding alcohol bottles, wine bottles, and using shot glasses but instantly washing them and putting back exactly where they were.
Problem is, along with her memory, she can be very nasty when she’s drunk, saying really personal things, imagining that I’m always out to get her, and nick picking everything possible, saying things to make me out like I’m not good enough.
I’ve given her so much support, offered counselling, offered alternatives, days out thr house so she can feel relaxed out of home life, took pressure off of her with shift work and helping out with cooking ans cleaning at home. I’ve done everything possible. But she’s just constantly promising that she will do better.
I’ve told her how she makes me feel and just been completely honest with her that I feel like I’m struggling to cope and that we have never been so far apart. She’s my best friend, and I just feel like I’m watching her destroy herself.
She’s never tried anything to help herself, but I’m mostly worried about her being unsafe on her own now with her thoughts of just being angry and really upset, she’s in constant torment whilst drinking and post drinking.
I’ve got to the point where I’m starting to dislike her all together. Because she keeps promising me and every shred of hope I have to come home from work and then to realise that I’ve got the stranger in my house, instead of my mum.. she doesn’t even feel like my mum anymore when she drinks.
I’m so hurt watching her the way she is and so hurt from her saying horrible things to me.
Please help. What do I do. Can’t keep going on like this. I’m staying up worrying at silly hours of the morning and hate leaving her on her own. I get no rest, no break.
