Had to do a reset after tonight. I feel ashamed. It’s only been a day. Couldn’t do it. It’s gonna be such a long road in 2020. But thank you to all who are here and listening. I want to be better. But unfortunately most of the friends I have, come from a bar setting. And drinking is just what they do and I fell into it when I turned 21. I will be 25 in a few months. I do not want my life to be like this. It’s just so hard to break. I don’t have a boyfriend or significant other to lean on everyday for any kind of support. So it’s just me,myself and I. I’m scared for the journey that lies ahead.
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It’s only scary as it’s an unknown but you absolutely can live a happy, sober life. I lost all of my old friends through drug use, some grew up and got married, the rest I used drugs with. We can always make new friends and until then you have us.
There’s a lot of fantastic info to be read on this site that will show your how to live without alcohol and drugs and or will also make this a little less scary, read it and learn how to embrace a sober lifestyle. 
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@anon13078412 I greatly appreciate your comment and that I am not being ridiculed for my choices by posting here on the app. I really am going to be doing My best to change in 2020. I’m very grateful this app exists. Cause if not I know my life would spiral more out of control then it already has. It is nice to know that I am not alone.
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Have you given serious thought to finding a local group like AA or NA or SMART Recovery? AA fellowship, new friends and new routines saved my bacon more than once.
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@SinceIAwoke. If you don’t mind if I get personal for a moment. Over the past several days I have given much thought to finding AA Meetings near me. It’s just difficult at the current hour because I am living with my parents and they are leaving to go back home out of state soon. My parents acknowledge that I drink too much but I don’t know if they see me as an alcoholic. After this week I will be on my own and be more free to make the right choices. I fully plan on seeking out AA meetings.
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I’m just curious why your parents seeing you as an alcoholic, or not, affects your decision to go to an AA meeting?
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@anon17130000. Great question that I am more then happy to answer. First off. I am an only child. At this point in my life. I am trying very hard to be on my own and get by and break the seal from my parents. They have hovered over me all my life and I can’t do that anymore. I want to be able to be on my own. If they see me going to AA meetings, they will force me to go back to live with them. I am afraid I will only drink more if that happens. I am going to do my absolute best to not drink anything starting now. I just need to wait for them to leave next week to start going to AA meetings so they won’t feel they need to hover over me more.
Welcome to the forum. Though relapse doesn’t have to be a part of recovery, for most people it is. It sounds like you want to get sober, but don’t have a plan. My advice is NEVER CRAVE ALONE. When you want to drink, come here and let us know. We have tears if experience here and are willing to help however we can. Since my problem is pain pills, I’ll pass this over the @SoberWalker. She has a great sober plan that will help get you on the road to recovery.
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I’m new to this clean and sober community as well. I have 120 days of sobriety and my worst fear is to have a relapse. It’s not the resetting alone that would be discouraging but the feeling that so many people, relationships and trust would sacrificed for nothing. I’ll use this online support group as well as brick and mortar support groups such as (SBAC), Sobriety Brings About Change. I figure I need all the help and prayers I can get.
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Welcome @G323 and @Liquid_monster. So happy you have found your way to this site. A ton of useful information has been compiled in these threads. Please take some time to read on here. I have literally spent days reading. Use the search function to access advice that has already been given or post a question asking for support. Wishing you both success on your sober journeys.
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Don’t be too hard on yourself. You don’t need a bf or significant other to get sober. Any positive support helps! We are ALL here for you and got your back. So you slipped up, I have too. About 140 and so odd days ago it just clicked. It WILL click for you too. Please check in here daily, read and read again. Learn from others and gain wisdom to flex your sober muscles. Post milestones or when you need to vent as you have now. You are NOT alone and you GOT this! I wish you continued luck on your journey.
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Hi @G323 and nice to meet you 🙋
Here is my list @Wunderbar is reffering at. I made it for myself to help me staying sober. I lived by it and when I had cravings I did what I’ve suggested myself (I still do).
So dust yourself off and make your own list (or use this one). I’m here on TS since my day 1 and I’m here every day. That helped me a lot too! Now I’m more then 1 year sober. So be positive because it can be done!
You are young and have got a whole sober life ahead of you. Go get it!! 
My list:
- No alcohol in my house
- Refrigerator filled with nice food and alc. free drinks
- Telling my spouse about my sober plan
- Avoid alcohol related activities and friends (at least in the beginning)
- Having a day counter
- Avoid wine/beer section in the supermarket and avoid liquor store
- Taking a strong vitamine B complex
- Taking melatonin to help me sleep
- Be gentle to myself, like go to bed early, taking a long bath, etc.
- Doing relaxing activaties like meditate, yoga, walking, etc.
- When I have cravings: I don’t pick up that first one but I walk, run, work out, eat chocolat, watch Netflix, clean, study, whatever.
- Ask for help when I need it.
- Be here every day to read and check in sober.
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