I’m currently sitting at home alone because my fiancée is over at his friends drinking and hanging out. I feel left out which is my fault for not going but I don’t think I could go and not drink… these are moments where I feel like I’m being stupid not drinking and I’m missing out on life. I feel like I’m fighting my own thoughts 
9 Likes
Hey Ash, FOMO is soooo real, especially in early sobriety. You made the right choice by not going with your fiancé and avoiding a situation where you would have to say “no” which is VERY hard in the beginning. Take this alone time to do what you want to do-can you take a walk? Make yourself a tea and watch a movie? We are a community that will always be here for you when you feel this way, keep reaching out. You are doing the right thing for you. Very proud of you 
7 Likes
Hi Ashley.
Is this your first week of sobriety? Good for you. Wise decision not going. You sound pretty smart to me. It took me awhile before I went out anywhere when I stopped drinking. I don’t think we’re missing out on anything. Sure it gets lonely sometimes but that’s up to us to do something about it. Or not. Lots of times I just get on here and read and help people out or post some stupid memes. I think your making a wise choice staying home.
ODAAT.
From a former New Englander. I’m from north of Boston.
6 Likes
Thank you Tea and a movie sounds lovely 
3 Likes
Today is day 7 for me. Being on here has been one of the most helpful pieces to this whole crazy puzzle… how long do you think it took you before you were able to go out and do things without it being so tempting?
Western Mass for me out in the hills of the Berkshires 
4 Likes
I forget how big Mass is length wise. I always stuck to my northeast corner with N.H. and Maine and Vermont. Don’t know anything out west.
Well, my wife drinks. We drank together forever. We’re old and don’t party much. But we like to go out to eat a lot. She still drinks at dinners out. Always did even at the beginning on my sobriety. I guess everyone is different. I became sober during COVID at the beginning. So I had plenty of time to get some sobriety under my belt before I really went out to “Do Things.” I did a lot of walking. A lot of angry power walking with Eminem and so other angry Gangsta rap type music. I had a lot of time. I always like to treat myself to manis and pedis and massages and such instead of rewarding myself with booze.
Great job on getting one week under your belt. This is a great sober community for support. Keep checking in. It’s worth it and so are you.
5 Likes
Thank you
1 Like
Congratulations on your 1 week.
That’s HUGE!!
4 Likes
You did the right thing
Always do what’s best for you. Congrats on 1 week!!!
3 Likes
I remember years ago with my ex who still partied and drank, heading down to the basement where our roommates were, loud music drugs and drinking were going on. I used to get sooo resentful and mad and felt alone and jealous and a bunch of other emotions all at the same time. I really had to focus on retraining my thinking. Instead of focusing on what i was “missing”, I had to focus on what i was gaining from it. And maybe this will help foe the future for urself and ur fiance. I found that I had to verbally tell myself that I’m not missing anything. What I am gaining is no hangover, no financial issues, no arguing, no missing work, no self loathing etc. I had to remind myself of what drugs and alcohol do to me. I am an addict and I know that I will never be able to use and drink like others. I had to ask myself what am I truly missing here? It wasn’t the drugs and alcohol I was missing. I was missing the connection and hated feeling alone. When my ex would go drinking I would get online to a mtg or preferably go out of the house to attend a mtg. Or I’d go to the gym. Or I do something healthy that was around others even sitting in a coffee shop help me bcuz I was around people who weren’t doing drugs or drinking. I started doing things for ME 
5 Likes
Play the tape through. If the end result is what I think it is or even a slight possibility remember the misery will be refunded to you immediately if not eventually. Be good to you you’re worth the recovery sis stay blessed 
3 Likes
Thank you all I appreciate all the support more then you know
3 Likes
I’m in Mass too! Central though. I wanted to go out to a little farm I like to go to for live music and food but I’m definitely ready yet. They did however start stocking NA beer which I am super excited about! Instead I cleaned my truck lol had a NA seltzer. I wanted to reward myself with a beer for cleaning my truck 🤦… I don’t have a lot of “friends” that don’t drink and I have terrible fomo. It will take some getting used to. Trying to set myself up for success and not failure. Took a drive instead and bought an air freshener. Now gonna cook up some dinner and probably go to bed early tonight. One day at a time. You’ll be able to join your fiance soon and still be able to not drink.
1 Like
Thankfully there’s tons of cute little farms and stuff that will let you visit and walk around on! I love going to farms and markets and stuff i sadly work at a liquor store so I see alcohol all day. Having a NA after work helps me on occasion if I get too deep in my day.
1 Like
I’m ironically enough a bartender… It’s great money but I need to rethink if I can continue working there or not. Sometimes I do great. Work my shift clean up and can’t wait to get home to put my feet up and pass out. Other times I was taking shots and drinking with the patrons while I was on shift
I work this Saturday again. We will see how that goes
1 Like
The best help for me is looking at how much I save by not drinking and allowing myself indulgences that I normally wouldn’t. I believe somebody had mentioned manicures and pedicures. I used to go to a coffee house and they had the best carrot cake! So I would get an expensive coffee and a piece of carrot cake which I would never have done for myself otherwise. And then when I make it to the end of the week I do something bigger a new outfit I did a pot and pan set, it out at a more expensive restaurant than I normally would have. And it’s not that I don’t still struggle because I do. But having something to look forward to makes it a little bit easier to have the willpower to continue this journey! Congratulations to you on your first week! It is difficult and we all know that struggle
3 Likes
We got this 
2 Likes
I love the idea of self investments. I calculated my expenses on alcohol for the last 30 days and I was appalled.
2 Likes
It’s scary to think the amount of money I have spent. I’ve been trying to do better things with the money also. It def is rewarding
1 Like
This is a situation I have found myself in a few times when my girlfriend would go out with her friends. I usually try to do something productive or something enjoyable and stay out of my head. We are trying to change the way our brain is wired around alcohol when most of the world glorifies it. Focus on the positives of not drinking rather than the only negative, fear of missing out, which doesn’t even have to be a fear because you can still hang out with people without drinking when you are more comfortable in your sobriety. It is also tough being a young adult and navigating the sober world as everything revolves around drinking. I’m 27 and live in southern NH, grew up in Mass. I’m one of those border jumpers. Live in NH,commute to Mass for work.
Bottom line, if you keep doing the next right thing and put your sobriety first, you’ll be amazed at the progress you will start to make. It does get better. 
2 Likes