I need help staying sober please I’ve been trying for a year and keep having slip ups I use oxy and have done fentanyl I need to stay sober this will be my reset date today I used yesterday. I’m so scared and don’t know what to do
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Reaching out is a good sign you know what to do 
great job. I’ve been trying to get sober on and off of about a decade and a half. Been back and trying again for 5 going on 6 days. My DOCs are narco and Adderall. I’m trying to fight cravings by staying busy. I know easier said than done. I don’t have a ton of advice but I’m here to listen for sure.
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Welcome back. How do you plan to keep yourself from giving in to temptation? What kind of help do you think you need that will help you get clean and stay clean? Hang in there. You can do this.
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My husband is basically my sponsor and is going to tell me no regardless of anything because he’s the one that usually got the pills nobody lets me know if they’re around he muted every potential dealer and is going to say no and delete the message so I won’t even know they texted him or call him or anything. He’s much better about staying clean and doesn’t have as addictive of a personality as I do I don’t know what else I can do at this point I live in a small town where everyone seems to dislike me I can’t go in public much around here. Just willpower and hope is what I have
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I have a really big support system in my parents and. My husband thankfully
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We only concede to getting better typically when its the only option left. If your still having fun w your doc, your not done, your not ready. Once you see through its glitz and glamour, and you see the destruction its causing, interpersonal relationship problems, serious health issues that arise, problems w the law, the risk of homelessness because your doc cost so much… etc etc etc. Stop now while your ahead. If none of these things have happened yet, diving further into your addiction will surely reveal how low you can go.
And remember no ones opinion about you matters except yours. Take care of yourself.
Stay strong 
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It sounds like you have a good starting plan. Have you tended to reach for the pills in order to escape certain feelings and situations when they become difficult? If so, what is your plan to have something else to go to for emotional shelter? Hope is good. Journaling might be useful. Try to think of all the reasons you’ve reached for the pills, and come up with a plan of action. Write them down. Write down each successful day you’ve had and celebrate it. If you don’t have a meeting you can/will go to in your area, come back to this forum often–or another online forum. There are online meetings. If you search this forum, you will find a lot of resources to help you.
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It will get better when you are willing to do whatever it takes to get sober.
Also, is your husband still using? Why would he have dealer contacts? Can you expand on that.