Ugh I messed up tonight, I was 8 days sober and doing so good, I hate this fucking disease… I’m watching an intervention episode that just breaks my heart mainly because I see me in it 
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You said you’d had many day 1s, in your last thread. Something probably needs to change.
Have you tried attending a meeting before? AA? SMART Recovery? Others?
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I actually just joined the 24 hour AA but stayed anonymous since I drank today
Good for you for joining - that’s a step.
Do you have any alcohol in your house? Your car? Anywhere you can access it? Pour it down the drain.
Do whatever you need to do - anything, anything that’s safe and legal - to not drink for the rest of today:
- someone else can take care of the kids (call a friend, call a family member, anyone: you need help - say, “I need help” - and leave the kids with them); or if the kids stay with you, get the person in there to help you
- it doesn’t matter what you eat or drink so long as it’s non alcoholic; pizza night for the family for the next three days, the next week; it’s all good - no alcohol, no problem
- fill your time with other things to stay sober: meetings (Online meeting resources), walking while listening to music, Netflix, cooking, etc etc - anything that’s safe and non-alcoholic
Only focus on today. Today is the only day that matters. Yesterday is past; tomorrow hasn’t happened yet. The present, this day, today, is the only day that matters.
Get your head on the pillow sober tonight, and it’s a win. Don’t worry about tomorrow. (Because tomorrow, you’re just doing the same as today - except tomorrow will be… a new “today”! 
And you’ll rest your head on the pillow, sober.)
You have permission to do anything safe and legal, to stay sober. There are no rules, no limits, other than that.
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Thank you. I needed to bear that. This is my first post/comment here.
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I’m glad Nika 
Are you recovering from alcohol too?
(I’m about to head to bed so if I don’t reply it’s just because I’m asleep - but I will be back tomorrow and in the meantime the people in Europe and Asia are awake )
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Yes, alcohol. Got very problematic. This morning, I poured the last of my wine and an almost full bottle of vodka down the drain. Even before I found this community. Glad I don’t have any around.
I’m in California, so it’s still pretty early here.
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Good for you for pouring out the alcohol! That’s another good step! You’re doing it, one step at a time. You’ve almost made it to bedtime!
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Thank you! I might be here a lot at first.
This is not my first attempt to quit. 
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Hi Nika welcome here,
Glad you poured the alcohol to the drain. It helps to have a clean house. For me in the beginning of my recouvery it helped me to stay away from all the alcohol related events. I waited to have more sober days so I was stronger to handle that. So no pub, reastaurant, dinner with friends, etc.
It also helped me to be here much. This is a great helpfull community with people in it who understands where you are going trough because the are going trough the same.
Do you listen to podcasts sometimes? There are nice ones with recovery as a subject.
“Recovery elevator” is a good one.
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Be here a lot. This is a great place to be. People get it here. Even if you don’t post, just read and read and read. It’s really reassuring to hear/read stories like your own.
Good luck.
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Thanks @SoberWalker. Yes, I can see that I may have to do that, stay away from activities that involve alcohol, even in social settings, at least for some time.
Do people ever get to a point where they can have a glass of wine once in a while - as long as it’s not at home, by myself? Is that even feasible as a long-term strategy?
In a word, no. The most important, and in many ways the hardest thing to accept, is that we don’t drink like normal people - and that is never going to change. If you can’t stop at one now, you won’t be able to stop at one in the future.
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I can’t that’s for sure. If I would do so I will drink my old amount of wine within a few days ore so.
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Sorry. That is my opinion and my experience. I can’t speak for everyone.
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How are you doing @Junxisup27?
Hope you found the AA helpfull. The good thing about online meetings is you always can be anonymous if you like.
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Yes, I strongly suspect that that would be my case as well. First one glass. Then two. With friends, of course.
Then my usual nightly 2 bottles of wine, at home, my myself. 
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Personal experiences are valuable. I appreciate your honesty.
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I was a home alone drinker, no friends needed for get waisted. Nobody besides my partner knew about my drinking habits. Glad that’s behind me. I will always be an addict, I know I will. So I can’t have “just one”.
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