Well…Its been a while. A rather long while since i was here last. Today is DAY 1…AGAIN. This is my second attempt of getting clean but this time i want to really try my hardest to stick to it. I dont even remember what its like to not be high to be honest…Its been in my daily routine for so long now its as normal to me as packing my kids lunches or opening up my curtains in the morning. My biggest secret and what i think is “the only thing that doesnt want to leave me” or “it protects me because it band aids my feelings”. So…heres to wanting to feel again. I dont want to hide anymore…Yes, im so far into the rabbit hole that i am losing myself. And just because nobody knows and nobody can tell, doesnt mean i can use it as an excuse anymore to not acknowledge how deep my addiction really is. Fucksake, facing the truth now. If anything, i feel like the worst kind because ive kept it so hidden…Day 1 of putting this beast away for good.
Welcome back to the community!
Welcome back, I wish you well.
Alcoholic here, but same vibe. I hid it for so long and it became a tool to function and get through my day. Glad you’re making the decision to stop! I’m on my third real sobriety attempt. You got this!
Thanks everyone. Its 9.02am here in New Zealand. My kids have not long left for school and now im alone…First thing i thought of when i waved them off was my thought was “shit, ok…im sober😒” so…any tips for first day please guys!
Welcome you and welcome myself …time to work let’s get it 
It’s funny, when we get sober the question of “what do I do with all this time” is actually - super eye-opening! All of a sudden we realize how much time we’ve lost.
There’s a few good threads about this with loads of ideas - here’s one:
You’ve got your life back now. I’d suggest taking some time in meetings (search some up on www.NA.org or another group - there’s a good list here: Resources for our recovery - many have online options), because getting sober is more than just not using; it’s also about learning to live your life, as yourself, not just some spaced-out addict (which we all were in one way or another). Those are actual, normal, psychological, social skills we need to learn, and we can learn them in groups. (Non-addicts use these every day without thinking about it; we need to learn it. Fortunately it is learnable!)
The most important thing: don’t give up! You’re a good person, a good parent, and you deserve a safe, sober life where you can be your full self.
Hey there I was a daily meth user for over 7 years, I am 16.5 years clean of that crap now. I get the whole “nobody knows so it cant be that bad” mindset. I was blown away when I came clean to my parents that I had been abusing meth for 7 years and they said they had no idea, they had assumed I was HIV positive because I looked like shit. I am not sure what your using style is but I was an all day, every day, heavy user and there is no way that if you use like I did there has not been affects outwardly on your appearance that people arent noticing. Our addicts can be pretty convincing when they make us believe we are pulling the wool over everyones eyes, but not everyone is as stupid as we think they are. 
The only way I succeeded in staying clean from meth was to disassociate myself from people places and things that reminded me of using. I moved, I left a relationship, I canceled my phone and got a new number, I unfriended and blocked everyone on facebook. I made one grave mistake when I cleaned up, I never got proper support for addiction which lead me to relapse to alcohol. You see I had considered myself a " meth addict"… I learned the hard way that is just not the case. Blaming one drug for my disease cost me another 12 years in active addiction.
So…if you can learn from me those are the things that works and those are the things that caused me more suffering. Now I am a member of NA and I have 2 years clean of all substances, it’s hard work but we can recover.
The good news about getting sober is that you get your feelings back.
The bad news about getting sober is you get your feelings back.
Someone said this to be last year and it struck a chord.
All the best with your journey x
I know how you feel. I’ve been struggling for about 2 years now. I had quit in the past but all it took was one shitty day. I’m thankful for those who have stuck by my side and am honestly pissed at those who just walked away. It’s going to be a painful journey. But hopefully I can do it for good this time. I was always high and thought I was ok. But seeing things around where I live and having bad things happen to me. It’s really made me think. In the past I wouldn’t have given a shit. I haven’t been I. Touch with those who are very important to me and that’s the most painful thing ever. I just want to be better. I’m so thankful for my BF. He didn’t walk away instead, he understands and o ly wants to help me get through this. We may struggle, but in the end. With the right support. We can do ANYTHJNG we put our minds too!
Sober for 2 days almost.
Welcome back mate good work for stepping up to the plate and having another go
Thanks 
feeling nice to be back with the tribe 
Had my first NA meeting this morning via ZOOM. Was really good and positive amongst the storm. Got out a few things i needed to and was really lifting to be reminded and know that we are not alone in our struggle with this disease of addiction. Its really uplifting to see and hear the veterans of sobriety speaking up and supporting. Thanks guys. Feeling really good at this moment and strong in my decision.
Hi Kat here I am an opiate and meth addict in remission from opioids 5 years, meth pills 6 months. The last 5 years I have had long periods of semi-sobriety (not counting alcohol) but always relapsed on those damn speed pills from the dark web about every 6-9 months or so.
Well done on going to NA! I spent 4 years going on and off but not really taking it seriously. 6 months ago something changed. I decided to jump in with both feet. Listen and embrace the program. Do what was suggested. Now I go to a meeting in-person or zoom almost every night. I have a sponsor and am working the steps. Most of all, I have come to believe the program works and really want to stay relapse-free.
Anyway welcome, oh did I mention come on this forum a few or 10 times a day, read and participate in the posts!
Welcome to TS and congrats on your two days clean. I am glad you’re here.
