I monumentally fucked up. Went to my works Christmas party and got so drunk my husband had to drive around at 2am to try to find me. I am humiliated and horrified. How do I move in from this. I feel so down and have had suicidal thoughts. I just want this to end and I don’t know how to make this better.
Welcome to the forum! Its a great first step. There is a lot of good info on here. Some quit on their own, some do SMART, therapy, I go to AA…start here and see what speaks to you.
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Can you join AA or Smart? It really helps people!
Sorry to hear about your story. Maybe write down how you feel right now! Put that in your wallet en read it when you need it.
This are the things that helped me so far:
Maybe it helps you too!
No alcohol in my house
Refigarator filled with nice food and alc. free drinks
Telling my spouse about my sober plan
Avoid alcohol related activities and friends (at least in the beginning)
Having a day counter
Avoid wine section supermarket and liquor store
Taking a strong vitamine B complex
Taking melatonin to help me sleep
Be gentle to myself, like go to bed early, taking a long bath, etc.
When craving: do anything but don’t drink so walk, run, work out, eat chocolat, watch Netflix, clean, study, whatever.
Be here every day to read and check sober.
At the end of today I’m 90 days sober.
I wish you wel! 
️
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I pretty much did the same thing yesterday. Let’s together make yesterday our last day like that and today our first day of sobriety. I’ve had so much support on here today and I’m sure you will too.
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same thing here ! i fucked up big time last night, as usual… im starting the recovery process, and the fighting continues, alchool can be very tricky, in my case i cant have only one drink ! i should not drink at all ! the important thing is to never give up trying ! ur not alone, there so many like us …
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I had those suicidal thoughts myself, I struggled to get help and was so fed up with the way I was living my life, in my case I acted on it taking a concoction of pills and ended up putting myself in hospital, as you can tell I’m still here, but the difference is I’m 4.5 months sober. You have to really work for your sobriety, stop making excuses when an event or holiday comes up to drink. Go to your doctor first of all and tell them everything, even the suicide thoughts they can point you in the right direction and make referrals too. Tell your husband how you feel as I’m guessing you haven’t told him, I know I didn’t tell my husband, tell him what you are going to do, don’t instantly expect them to understand or be able to do the work for you, that’s up to you. Be kind to yourself over the next few days and start the process of recovery
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AA works for me. Maybe it’s time you looked into going.
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Good point, forgot to mention that I do SMART
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Welcome. I understand how awful you feel about last night, but understand that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!. We have all been there in one way or another. Many years ago I made a colossal ass out of myself at my daughters birthday party, but it is not the end of the world. I always tried to moderate alcohol consumption and always ended up in the same place. But you will find your way. You will find tons of support here on this forum. And you have family & friends that love you and are willing to help you thru this. There is hope and life is BETTER without alcohol, the first step is saying, “I will not drink today” and focusing on each day. Don’t worry about forever or even next week or month. It truly is 1 day at a time! Good luck and please check in here often. We are here to help each other through this!!!
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It sounds like it’s time to shut down the drinking. You have two options in life right now… continue on this downward spiral or quit. I know you feel deeply miserable and hungover right now, but it’s time to wake up and face the music. You’re at the right place, with wonderful people to help if you’re ready to admit you have a problem and want to quit. Take care of yourself today and seek help if those thoughts persist… surround yourself with loving and supportive people, rest, hydrate, eat well and go to bed early tonight.
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I’d be grateful that your husband was able to find and you and pick you up. You are safe from what might have happened if he had not found you and you both now have a searing memory of the last day you drank and why you never will want to again. Remember this pain and shame and use it to keep yourself from doing it again. Try AA or Smart or whatever it takes for you to not put yourself in that position again.
I’ve been the unfortunate “star” of work Christmas parties in the past. While my memories of my humiliations are still alive, I know that since I left the work party scene, there is never a shortage of others who will take my place in the Christmas party hall of fame and shame.
Use this experience to motivate you to stop.
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Me too – caved in at the office Christmas party a couple of days ago after being almost 3 weeks sober. I know I don’t have a stop button once I start, but I drank anyway, thinking maybe, just maybe, I could stop after a few. Nope. Ended up getting cocaine when I got home. Felt like shit physically and emotionally the next day. Threw out the remaining drugs. Terrified of these benders. So out of control.
If I were to find a silver lining, it would be that this experience really cemented how much I don’t like alcohol and what it does to me anymore. The buzz is not worth the hangover, depression, guilt, and self loathing.
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@Teapots @Dailystruggle @Jordao_Chid @Jeaton @JN1121
Hey everyone, don’t have much to add to the excellent advice already been given above except to point you in the direction of this post, in case you haven’t already found it:
Keep checking in and keep putting one foot in front of the other 
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same thing here ! i fucked up week a go, as usual… im starting the recovery process this year …
…aaam 20 times now, and the fighting continue. Im so tired. i should not drink at all !
I am so overwhelmed and thankful for all of you for replying. I told my husband I was having suicidal thoughts and although he was angry about last night he has been very supportive today. I am lucky to have such a strong support network. Reading all of your replies has helped me through this day and has kept me going. Thank you for sharing your experiences with me. I will continue to check in everyday of this journey. The self loathing and humiliation is still there but I’m working on it! Here’s to day 1 (again) and to all of you for your kind words. WE’VE GOT THIS 
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Worked wonders for me too. AA is free, no commitment and full of people like us.
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Best decision I ever made.
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If you are humiliated and horrified, then this incident has the potential to change your life. For most of us, it takes a traumatic experience to break the cycle. Let those feelings be your springboard. Sometimes I have to deliberately think about my mistakes and “go there” emotionally in order to hang onto “the why”. (why I need to remain sober)
Make the decision NOW. This can’t just be something you’re “trying”. Sobriety is either something that we’re doing or something we stopped doing.
If you choose to change your life, and live sober, the rewards are countless. I promise you that. Everyday it’ll get a little easier. You’ll like yourself a lot more. And, as I’m sure you know, alcohol is a depressant. Those suicidal thoughts may be the result of the drinking, and not the other way around. So, how bout’ you just say “fuck that noise” and stop poisoning yourelf? Your true potential is waiting for you.
And so are we.
Were always here for you.
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Shit… first thing is to let go of the shame and blame on yourself. It’s the alcohol not us… I’m in the same boat… so many shameful moments. And I bet that even so called “normal drinkers” embarrass themselves when drunk. I hate the fact that I ever started drinking. My drinking is worse than it’s ever been. I want it to end now! I know I will be much happier. We can do it
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Its okay just move forward and apologize. One time I spent 8k of my wifes money on cocaine in one night for me and the guys i was hanging out with so if i can rebound from that you can too!
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