I 26 years old female am struggling because I’m between a rock and hard Place
Me and my husband yet again gotten into a heated argument because of finances but thing is I’ve already told him several times I have everything under control and I have everything on a payment plan because all of it is way to much to pay it off all in one kinda thing and I honestly thought that was the end of it but no it wasn’t I went upstairs to go to the bathroom to get ready to go to an appointment because our kiddos had a check up and I kinda was running a bit late so I rushed down stairs afterwards and then came upon my husband on the phone with the people to try to pay off a few bills for me but he decided to go behind my back after I said I didn’t need his help and to stay out of it because I don’t want things ending up all screwed up because he can’t listen
But long story short I kinda lost it on him because not only he wasn’t listening he went behind my back and did it anyway well he was on the phone I literally yelled out to the people my name and said they do not have my permission to talk to him but little did I know they bypassed it because he knew my name and everything and I felt like nobody cared to realize he was going against me and doing what he wanted when he wanted
And yes your probably going to say oh he was just trying to help but you all got to realize no he wasn’t he’s literally always like this no matter what it is no matter what I say or feel it’s not really allowed because it’s not what he feels or wants
So long story short he literally yelled aggressively towards me and said that I never listen to him and I’m never there for him and yes his life before he met me was shit but after I married him it’s been nothing but hell and I’m a cold hearted bitch and I’m just like my narcissistic mother etc.
And after that he yelled even more and told me it’s all my fault that I pushed him to this point and he’s done with me and he wants a divorce because he can not stand being with me one more second because all I do is cause him pain and things
But after that moments after everything he just said he’s kinda is trying to take it back and saying he didn’t mean it and he’s sorry and a divorce isn’t what he wants he really wants to take everything back and have things the way it was but thing is I’m tired I’m tired of being treated like this I’m tired of being told I never listen but every day I do I bend over backwards for this man making shere he has a hole made lunch every day for work give him my time and affection that he used to crave and desire
Now he doesn’t I guess and it hurts because the first time in my life I’m kinda not caring if he leaves me because that’s how hurt I truly am I’m just whating on him to throw those divorce papers at me like he said he would but honestly it might be a while because according to him now he wants to take everything back and to make things right again
I’m sorry you are being treated cruelly. You don’t deserve that all. No one does. Are you safe being with him? It sounds like his behavior is escalating. If you need resources to keep you and your kiddo safe please let us know. I’m concerned that he might get physically violent.
Thank you and I see what your saying but it’s a bit more complicated especially when you have a child with that someone I kinda grew up in a broken home and that’s not something I want for my kid
We’re safe always have been it’s just kinda more verbal then physical I’m just so freaking tired and so overwhelmed with feelings that I’m not to shere what they are yet if that makes any sense
And he’s on here off and on all the time I’m not going to be surprised if he already seen this post but just haven’t said anything
From what I’ve read about him it doesn’t seem like he’s ever going to change, and his behavior seems to be getting worse. I hope you do what is best for you and your child because your husband seems to only think about himself
Don’t underestimate the damage verbal and emotional abuse can cause. Why are you waiting for him to leave? Take control and make your own decisions. Make a plan. If you do choose to leave don’t do it without a very clear and safe plan. Because that’s the most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive relationship
I’m sorry for the tough situation you’re in friend. But:
I grew up in a situation where my parents stayed together despite decades of serious relationship troubles. I wish they separated when I was a small child instead of making me grow up in a permanently volatile and unsafe environment. While I’m friends with single mothers who did a fantastic job of raising their kids. I’m not saying you should do this or that but consider that too plz. Hugs.
It sounds like you two are not on the same page and possibly neither one of you are feeling heard. That by no means justifies his behavior. Have you considered going to couples therapy?
no, it is not.
your kid lives in a toxic home with no real stability according to your posts. your husband is irresponsible, not held accountable and abusive. you have past trauma and severe health issues with no support from your husband or family, au contraire. he adds to the chaos and stress instead of showing up and doing his part of the parent & partner job.
no excuses, no codependent sugarcoating. this situation will not improve by you further carrying all family responsibility alone while being bullied by a toxic man.
it is your choice how to deal and what path to go. from my point of view you staying in the situation like it is will only cause further harm to you and your child.
sending strength and comforting vibes
