Im heading to Barcelona on in 4 weeks with 12 mates, some drink very heavy and tend to get wierd when someone doesn’t drink, im 63 days sober and want to not drink for the trip, its only 3 nights but what would be the best approach or tactic to face this peer pressure while on hols
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I wouldn’t go if you are in the beginning of your recovery. If that’s not an option I would talk this dilemma trough with your friends before leaving.
If they are true friends they will support you. If they are just drinking buddies they will talk you into drinking.
I know what I would do.
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My first thoughts were “don’t go”. If you are trying to stay sober it’s not good to be around people who “get weird” when someone doesn’t drink. True friends will support you in your journey, not drink around you and celebrate milestones with you. If you choose to go, my advise is to make sure you have a separate place to stay, whether it’s a bedroom or a hotel room where you can leave the situation if you are pressured or tempted to drink and meet up with them in the morning. Nothing wrong with bowing out early if the situation isn’t good for you.
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Here are some strategies….
-always have a non alcoholic beverage in your hand.
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keep this app on your phone and consult it hourly or more
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make plans for yourself to do something enjoyable in the mornings and then go do them. Enjoy the city and the sites with your clear mind and decent sleep.
-arrange to have your own room so you don’t have to smell the alcohol in the night and morning and so you don’t have to “help” your buddies.
-have an escape plan from any of the drinking times. Do not sit and watch them.
-consider a practice run with them before you go, something local where you can see how they really are with you.
-be ready to tell the waitstaff or bartender you do not want alcohol. Be clear with them.
Many of us would not have been equipped to do that kind of trip without a longer period of sobriety. I would not, and even now at almost 3 years in , I would only plan a trip to Barcelona with truly supportive friends.
Barcelona is a beautiful city. I wish you the best!
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Is this a lad’s holiday type thing? Your best bet is to probably skip it unless you’re comfortable being mostly on your own exploring the city in the day while your mates sleep off hangovers.
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Your gut already told you what it’s best for you: Don’t go.
Always listen to your gut when it’s a no. And act on it. Pushing someone to drink is a really bad thing and you can make boundaries and avoid situations. YOUR life comes first. Stay away from situations that are dangerous. This sounds straining and dangerous, no fun. Enjoy the city on your own or with supportive people. A 3 day trip to get hammered in a beautiful city instead of enjoying it to the fullest clearheaded is not worth going. Just my 2 cent.
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My advice dont go
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I wouldn’t go. However, if you end up going…there is so much to do an see in Barcelona. All of which doesnt include alcohol.
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Not going = not having to face any peer pressure
I know I wasn’t ready to face the peer pressure at 63 days. I’ve seen it time and time again where people thought they could handle it but instead, they were back here posting about a relapse.
Why put your sobriety at risk? They’ll be many more opportunities for sober holidays in the future.
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I wouldn’t go. Got trapped myself in such situations more than once. Once in Barcelona, with my old indoor soccer team (also with 12 guys). Didn’t see lot of the city, more like sodom and Gomorra, and a hangover tour in a citybus so we at least could tell our spouses we saw some culture. As you describe it they will not prevent you from drinking. I only go out with old friends who are well aware of my issues with drinking and will intervene when I would have a brain twist and would order an alcoholic beverage.
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Ok so my comments here:
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Barcelona is a wonderful city full of culture with amazing things to see. Some are one in a life time. Getting in the Sagrada Familia or even looking at the scale 1 reproduction of the medieval galley by the sea museum is breath taking. So if the plan is to go and get hammered, then no, I don’t go. I won’t waste time and miss on the culture side. No way.
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If you go, there are several way you can make use of your non drinking: I now designate myself as the driver for the trip. So people feel safe and they don’t peer pressure you. It diffuses the situation.
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If you don’t plan to have a car, well you can still say you are under medication. And can’t drink.
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My favorite thing is however not to justify myself. I just say I don’t want to drink and I don’t give further explanations.
Just be careful in the end. I question the reason we travel sometimes: is it to see new things, experience culture, get confronted to new or old ideas. Or just an excuse to get hammered. One is not that fulfilling in the scheme of life.
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