So I picked up drinking again because I was just having a rough time and told myself I wouldn’t let it get bad again. I got too much last night and today I’m paying for it. I feel sick still and my anxiety is through the roof. I need to get back on the right track again and stay away from it. How do I get through it when I know drinking will make mw feel better but I know it’s not what I need or want to do.
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Pay the bill now, you’ll have to pay it tomorrow or the next day but with compound interest.
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Just because we stopped drinking, it doesn’t mean life is suddenly going to become all rainbows and butterflies. Life is still going to be life and very challenging at times. If I picked up over every “rough time”, I’d be dead by now. Learning to cope without alcohol is the key. I’ve learned to do this through a 12 step program. There are many different types of programs out there so do some research and see what suits you. Here’s a link you may find useful Resources for our recovery
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Well, for me…I was active here first. I spent as much time here as I did drinking. There is so much advice here. So many success stories here…
If I had a craving I cam here. If I wanted to celebrate…I came here.
Start here…
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Will drinking REALLY make you feel better though? It will only make you “feel better” in the moment as you are drinking. You have to keep in mind the after effects of it: feeling awful, sick, the anxiety, depression, and everything that comes with the hangover. That is what’s helping me. Waking up hangover free everyday has been a game changer. 
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I have my found my anxiety peaks the second and third day after a long binge. I can’t help but reflect on all my poor decisions and shame myself for my lack of will. My anxiety peaks to the point where I count the minutes till I have to go to work. I find myself sitting unable to do much other than sit on the couch worrying. I get nothing done which in turn makes me feel worse and makes me even more anxious. When I get to work my confidence is shot, my paranoia is spiked, and I can barely focus on anything. At night I lay in bed. My brain wracked with guilt. The future seemingly hopeless. Mistakes from years ago replaying in my head. My dreams haunted by past friends and relationships I ruined through my addiction… All that being said, this is how I try to push through those thoughts and not let my anxiety consume me and drive me back to drinking. In the morning I make sure I shower. Something as simple as showering is hard when you’re depressed or anxious but has huge benifits. Then I try and pick up my surroundings. Your environment always has an impact on your mood. Then some water and a short workout. Your brain is not just feeling the effects of coming off alcohol, it is also dealing with the effects of dehydration. When I get to work I try and use that anxious almost manic energy to my benefit. I also try to find something within my tasks to dive into that will take my mind off things if just for a short time. When I get home I try to watch or listen to something that is comforting. Maybe a movie you always enjoy. Maybe your favorite band. Maybe your favorite food. You get the point.
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Start a journal and write down how much it sucks the next day after. Make sure you read some of what you write on a daily basis.
Truth is the booze might make you feel better in the moment, but that’s just delaying when you have to deal with stuff, and it makes it harder to deal with the stuff when you actually get to it.
When you’re sober, you still have dragons, but you’re more likely to kill them when they’re babies rather than giant adults who maybe have had baby dragons of their own.
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It wont make you feel better, only numb and delay the feelings. Feeling like that, anything is better than drinking, even if you have to hide in your bed or physically leave a situation.
You dont want to have all the grief from as long as youve been drinking hit you 5 years from now, better to get it over with. If that makes sense.
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Sobriety is a difficult path, I hope you find the direction that makes you happy. 
For me it was difficult before I went 100% sober. It took several months of tapering off or only drinking one bottle of wine instead of two. I Tried every excuse to stay drunk. For the first time in a long I feel like I might have a handle it, but that comes with daily struggles that I conquer every day, every hour, and every minute. When my day is done, I know I fought an incredible battle and that keeps me going. 
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But you said
That’s the part about this disease that sucks. We think it helps us, but in the face of reality it does not. Yet we still believe it helps.
It’s a horrible cycle.
For me I had to come to the conclusion that drinking simple was not an option. Feeling emotions, good or bad, is normal. Most importantly, normal people feel emotions with out even consider drinking.
Drinking will not make you feel better. It might make you think you feel better when you are buzzed or drunk but once the alcohol wears off and you are back to normal you realize all of your stress, anxiety, problems, or whatever it is you were trying to escape with drinking is still there. It doesn’t go away. The only way to make it go away is to cut drinking out and focus on your mental health. I have had to do this. I am in therapy now and it has helped extremely. She has given me coping skills on how to handle myself when I am having an anxiety attack or feeling overwhelmed with life. You can do this! You just have to work hard and push yourself. One day and one step at a time. 
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For Us, there is no such thing as “Social Drinking”. For Us, drinking will eventually lead to Our Death. For Us, Our addiction(s) must be Starved until the End, so We May Live Life.