I was in icu for 5 days last friday cuz of my doc and since ive been home in the last week i only have 12 hours clean… I feel i need to be back on subs but idk i feel like i would be judge and not really clean if i do so… but subs help me a lot last time and on top of that my bf dosent trust me at all ABOUT using again he go EVER where i go etc only time he dont when he working even then he calling idk how to get the trust back
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There’s nothing wrong with being in suboxone/subutex if it helps you stay off of heroin or pain pills. Better that than keep using and end up physically dependant again. I’d shoot myself in the head before developing a physical dependence on heroin again because that is an absolute living hell that I do not want to revisit. If they will help then get on them. 
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I agree with the others… it’s hard getting off heroin by ourselves. I needed help and it stopped me from picking up my doc. Talk to your doctor about this and maybe try a taper programme. It’s the best thing ive ever done to get clean it saved my life x
As long as you’re under doctor’s care and taking them as prescribed, it’s perfectly fine IMO. I agree with everyone else, work with your doctor to taper off. It’s definitely better than the alternative and may just save your life.