Earlier today I posted about my relapse. I’m going to handle this. I can’t shake the crippling anxiety and depression I’m feeling. It’s only day one so I know I shouldn’t expect it to go away so fast. I just wish it would. I want to breakdown and cry every second of the day. I feel like such a mess, like I piss everyone off with my stupid behavior when I drink. Everytime I try to cheer myself up I’m reminded of all the stupid sexual embarrassing shit I said and did last night when I was blackout. I hate this. Why did I have to go and make such a fool of myself and to so many ppl? Some ppl I knew others I didn’t but I sexually laid myself out there for all to see and I am beyond humiliated and devastated. My body is still shaking, I can barely eat, and I can’t stop thinking about it. I wish I had someone to talk to that actually understand everything I’m going through right now. I’m tired of becoming a raging, horny, drunk monster.
Andy, make this be your last one…your last embarrassing scene. I know it sucks rn but there’s a chance to show the real you now. Do something every day for your sobriety.
Now you know… 
Maybe try a meeting might help ,helped me wish you well
We have all done stupid shit. Trust me. You can use these feelings for fuel to do better, next time you think how good a drink will be,
think of these feelings. Stay hydrated. Find a support group. Hang in there.
I know it feels like you have humiliated yourself in the worst way since time began, I have felt that way too. Time and in my case doing the AA steps helped me to move past it. I sometimes still remember and shiver at the past, but it cannot be changed. So the only thing to do is accept it and move on. Changed behaviour is the best salve to humiliation and regret.
Day 15 for me and I feel lightyears better than day 1.
Hang in there, it gets better!!
Good Morning,
Today is my day one as well. I have tried countless times to put the bottle away, but end up convincing myself it will take the edge off. I have crippling anxiety as well. Please take the time to try to sit with truths, first one being, you’re so brave for sharing and being vulnerable. Thats already a strong quality you possess. Two, It is the alcohol that is the root of the issue, its NOT you. The alcohol does not define you. Moments in time that leave you feeling hopeless, does not define you. Ive been there. I went to a social event, drank absurdly because I was riddled with anxiety, then later mocked and used as a tool for everyones amusement. As much as I detested the situation, its my past. The past is where is belongs, in your rearview. As humans, life and our journey is about constant growth, and evolving into better versions of ourselves. How can we learn if we are not allowed to fall? Grant yourself some grace. Be here now. You are loved. Valued. Cherished. Stand on what you know. Emotions are fleeting. And like the wave to an ocean, we must allow them their space but also allow the dissolve. Sit with the beauty of who you are becoming. Your story matters. You, matter.
I still have anxiety in recovery but I don’t have to drink over it. If you stay sober the regret will go away and you’ll be happy
I have been there and I know you are highly embarrassed just now, people will know that you will regret your actions, please concentrate now on your recovery, don’t hurt yourself more by worrying this pain shall pass