Hi my name is blue and I’ve been clean for over 2 years but since lockdown and covid began I’ve been having urges for cocaine to fuel me again and after having a recent argument with my partner I just don’t have the motivation to resist of anyone has been through a similar thing to me please talk as I feel alone about this
1 Like
I don’t think you lasted this long giving up drugs because of someone else. You did this for you! Don’t let others put that feeling back on you. Stay strong and think of all the positives you’ve had since quitting. The urge can’t kill us but our DOC can. Your not alone on your journey because you have so many people here that want you to keep going. We’re with you!
4 Likes
Two years is a great achievement. Like @Whomsoever said, i don’t believe that you have stayed clean this long without truly wanting sobriety to be your lifestyle. You have achieved so much, and while you may survive a relapse, do you really want to risk a possible overdose? Or risk losing the sober life that you have created for yourself?
You are inspiring to me, as I have less clean time than you. You are inspiration to others too, I’m sure of it. How are you feeling about all this now? Still craving?
2 Likes
Hey there blue, I was sober for years and this covid year also got the best of me due to several personal big chances. It is not worth it, so reaching out here is a good thing.
Maybe asking yourself why it is impacting you so much right now, the arguement. what is lingering underneath the covers? and, haven’t you been through it all before? You know you can do it. Tap into the resources. And keep on talking, reading, asking… whatever here.
Stay connected. 
3 Likes
@Maria said it in a nutshell. Doing things that ask us to think about/work on recovery keeps us safer from going back out, regardless the DOC. We stay in the middle and we don’t fall off… plus, drinking & drugging never solved a damn thing for me. Especially an argument.
2 Likes
Hey Blue, welcome to the forum! So glad to see you here reaching out.
I don’t know what type of recovery network you have but this is a great to place to build one. I’d recommend having a read through here to see if you can find some of the answers you are looking for…
… As well as the excellent advice you’ve already had here (and I’m sure there will be more to follow).
Hi Blue. I know how bad having arguments with the partner is. Its a massive trigger for me to use cocaine again. And being in an italian family/household arguments are a costant part of my life. It’s every week. With covid then the situation got 100 worse for everyone. Unfortunately i caved this last year and used again. I was almost 1 year clean and i can tell you: dont do that. The regret will be brutal. Think about your two years. And know this: using cocaine and being hung over of it in this covid situation where everyone is under the same roof most of the time is pure hell. Its definetely not worth it. Dont do that at any cost. Remember this aftermath everytime you crave it please.
1 Like