I have tried so hard to quit many times and each time I relapse I have messed up my life so bad many times and lost a lot of people that I really love and care for …. I don’t know how to stop I have tried so hard many times and it gets worse and worse eventually I’ll end up dead …. Please help
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Hello Lost.
First of all, sorry to hear you’re struggling.
What have you tried in the past to quit? You are aware there’s a huge problem doing what you are doing. That’s an important step.
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I hear your desperation. It is so hard when you are making effort and aren’t seeing the results you want. It means you need to channel your effort in a bit different way, imo.
What have you tried so far? What can you add to your effort or what new thing could you try? Never give up on yourself, and try not to go into a negative spiral. Everyone on here is here because we got so sick and tired of being sick and tired. You are not alone. We needed help and support and either got it here or got pointers where to find it.
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Welcome back 
I read through your previous thread.
It seems you do not change anything and if nothing changes, nothing changes.
Get yourself into rehab, join a program like AA, SMART recovery etc., read quit lit, go to therapy to work on your underlying issues, make a plan. There are wonderful threads here on making a plan, ressources for recovery, how to deal with early sobriety, look them up, read, learn, follow.
Trying is not enough, recovery is work, daily, unpleasant especially in early sobriety. No shortcuts, you want sobriety, you put in a lot of work and time. ODAAT
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I’m so glad that you have come here where you can get support and help. Lots of information here for you to go forward with what you want.
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I know the desperation you’re feeling. I felt it for many years. I begged others to help me, but it didn’t matter if they did or not bc I wasn’t trying to help myself. Once “I” finally put my foot down and made it a few days sober, “I” realized “I” didn’t know where to go from there and “I” needed to learn about recovery. No one could do that for me. I found this community and read as much as I could, basically 24/7 in the beginning. I listened and followed other’s advice. Some worked, some didn’t, but the point is “I” never stopped trying. Even when I relapsed and couldn’t get a handle on it again for 3 years, I still read and remembered everything I learned, so when that day finally came where I was able to put my foot down again, I had what I needed to keep going. Been sober almost 2.5 years now and I still read/check in here everyday. No matter what. Keep coming back 
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This 
is pure gold.
Thank you Laura
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Hello my friend.
My advice is to get to an AA meeting and keep going back.
Surrender and accept you are an addict/alcoholic and hand over your life to new management.
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As someone else already suggested, go online and find a local AA meeting and go. There is a solution and there is people who can help you who have gone through the same thing you are going through.
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How bad do you want it to get?
I know a similar kind of desperation, feeling imprisoned by something you feel powerless to.
You have done right by coming here.
All too often we hear “Don’t just stand there, do something!”
Well, I’ve found when life seems to be going to shit, and no matter what I do it seems to get worse to do the opposite:
Don’t just do something, stand there!
Take a minute to breathe and gather yourself.
And once you’re able to orient yourself into the present, then decide what’s best. Is it rehab? A trip to the ER, then rehab? Is it AA/NA/etc.? Do you have a doctor/therapist you have? Do you need help finding resources?
There is help available and there are people that are more than willing to help you.
I’m glad you’re here. You’re worth tomorrow.
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needed to hear that. When I relapse and hurt others, it just makes me feel so much hatred for myself and then I stay there depressed for days. Just feeling not good enough to get out of the bed. As I am unable to love myself… so everything stops and i just stay in my room.
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Yes I have for long periods I make it but than something happens always and I just say what’s the point
Ty . It’s that I messed up a lot of things I just can’t seem to see a way out or reason to look for one anymore