So I met my boyfriend a year ago. He had just gotten out of prison and was in a halfway house in Ohio. I live in Virginia, he is a heroin addict and was clean when we first met, I have shot ice for the past 6 years. The first half of our relationship we lived apart and he came down every weekend. While he was home he relapsed and went of the deep end and so did I. We managed to pull each other out of it and he moved to Virginia got a good job and we were both sober. He did some dumb things and got a grand larceny charge. We had hired a lawyer and he was still going to work but he ran out of his suboxone last weekend. We just happened to be in Ohio visiting his parents and that is the only place he knows to get h. He made it until Sunday we fought the whole way home. When we got home we stayed at a friend’s house because he had a warrant out for him for another shoplifting charge. We both got high on ice. The next day he went to work and I went home. When he came home from work he flipped out packed all his stuff and left. He called me the next morning from jail and said that he had wrecked his car and ran from the cops. He is facing a lot of jail time. I’m so lost right now because he was my heart. He is the reason I got sober. I hate my house because memories of him are everywhere. Its like I cant breathe and I’ve known that we weren’t going to work out but for it to end like this. Its destroying me and I don’t know what to do to make it stop hurting
You have to let him go. You hint at this because you know it has to be done. It’s hard to let go of someone you loved but he chose his path. You could have gone down with him but you didn’t and I commend you for that. You know it’s time for a change because you’re here, reaching out. Act on it, Now. Not tomorrow, not next week, but NOW. Put this behind you and let it fuel your desire to better your life. It’s never too late to change yourself for the better, my friend.
And welcome to Talking Sober, my friend. You’re not alone.
Everything in my house reminds me of him and i cant break down because I have responsibilities but all I want to do is lock myself in my room and cry for days.
Welcome to TS Jamie. Sorry for your troubles and your loss. I’m with CNevarezN on this one. You have to be clean, you have to be sober, you have to do this for you. This is your life. It’s time to take it into your own hands. Mourn your loss and move on. And do it clean. For you. You’ve come to the right place for support. Together we can do this. Success.
Maybe, re-read what you’ve posted above, read it as if you are one of us reading it, what helpful advice could you give to the person that wrote this post? Ask yourself what type of life do you really want? What does it actually look like, feel like and what decisions are needed to turn it into your reality - this new, loving, joyful life? How can you heal and recover from this drug addiction and this relationship?
I hope you find the peace and happiness you seek, for you deserve to be happy (you do!) and that will come with sobriety 
kindest regards to you Jamie.
I know, amiga and there is absolutely nothing wrong with how you’re feeling right now.