Hey everyone,
I’m an active heroin user and I’m terrified. Have been using just about everyday for over a year now. Not shooting it, just snorting. But none the less I can’t get away. I feel so stupid for ever getting myself into this mess. I feel so weak for not being able to stop on my own. I literally CANT check myself into rehab anywhere. And I’d rather my family not even find out about it. I know that makes it just about impossible to stop, but I’ve got so much left to lose. And I just cannot lose anything more in my life. If I do, I’m afraid I will actually give up and succumb to my thoughts of giving up. If anyone has any suggestions or inspiring stories of getting themselves clean, I would love to hear them please. Thank you!
<3 M
Ive been off heroin for 73 days now and Im happier than ever I didn’t use treatment however I think it’s a great option for a lot of people. For me though doing it in secrecy was not an option I had to get open and honest and tell my family, and honestly I would think your family may already know that something is up. If they don’t Im sure they will be happy to hear you want to take control of your life. Telling my family b helped with my accountability. Also, us heroin addicts seem to find every excuse to use, apply that to your recovery there should be no I cant do this or I can’t do that it’s more you just don’t wqnt to. Remember you’re going to lose your life if you keep up with this. Just because your snorting it doesn’t mean shit, I oded snorting it. I hope you give it all you got! Best of luck!!
4 Likes
The only one holding you back is you. Your going to have to cut yourself away from the life style (people,friends,places,and dealer). If you dont want to go to rehab maybe checking into a local meeting will help. Its almost like starting your life over finding new friends and a new way to live. How bad do you want it? Dont just say it …you have to take action and do it. Detox sucks off opiates but it does eventually end and things start to get better. Your probably gonna wanna isolate from the world for a week or two if u choose to detox home. Drink loads of water and look into supplements to help withdrawl symptoms. It will not diminish them but it can make it manageable… Goodluck… Maybe use the search function up top for more help…
2 Likes
I know the “whole people, places, things” concept. Problem is, my fiancé is in the same boat as I am. We feed off each other. If one of us says we want to stop, the other comes up with a reason why it isn’t a good time or something. I’m afraid of the truth of the matter… that I’m going to have to get away from here to be able to get better. My life is here. Everything I love in the world pretty much is here. I’ve used drugs for a long time now, nothing has ever grabbed a hold of me like this. And it’s terrifying. I want to get sober more than anything but I don’t want to lose my fiancé or our life together here. 
Hey there, I’m not a heroin user, but I’ve known a few, though it really doesn’t matter what our DOC is, the addiction progression is the same.
If you can’t stop on your own, you will need help, and that help may be rehad. I know you want to keep this a secret, but sometimes you can’t.
Sadly, I know some good people who OD’d, and the families response was, “If only he asked for help…”.
You can lose everything and if you work hard, you can get it all back. I’ve seen it, and I’m doing it.
3 Likes
You sound a lot like me…is this “life” you don’t want to lose really worth it? I think you’re scared I know I was. Addicts in a relationship who use together is just not a good combo most of the time not saying it can’t be done but you have to take charge of your sobriety and they of theirs you can’t do it for one another or because of one another I really hope you can figure this out!
1 Like
Well i can tell you thats a toxic relationship if you ever care to stop. I would wanna quit and control the money would do good a few days til id be convinced or nagged to use again. Then we were back to the races… Your probably better off to seperate for some time to get clean on your own. I had to do this and probably the only way i kept with staying clean. I went back to see her 6mo later to find she was still using. Luckly at 6months i felt great and was not going to loose my life i made to her and using again… That choice is yours… Eventually you will loose everything but her or you can loose her and save yourself the rest of your life?
4 Likes
Thank you all! It is a toxic relationship… in more ways than one. That’s part of what’s so scary about leaving. I’m thinking about finding a therapist or something because there is underlying PTSD, anxiety and depression that play a major role in my drug use. I just want to numb myself and make everything go away. But it always makes it worse, I know. I’ve got to take some steps in the right direction though and I think maybe talking to someone in person might help… coming on here was my first baby step. 
3 Likes
Also, I’ve got responsibilities that make me terrified to try and get clean. I cannot be sick and unable to function for days on end, I just can’t. So that keeps me justify using. It’s just so hard.
Eventually you are going to have to pay the piper. There’s no easy way off heroin. You are going to go through withdrawal. It’s going to last over a week. And the longer you use, the worse it’s going to get. You can either step in to recovery now, or keep using until you lose everything anyway. The job, you’ll get fired. You or your fiance will end up in jail. Eventually you will use a needle and overdose. Hopefully you won’t be alone when it happens. I’ve read a bunch of stuff you aren’t willing to do, so at this point I suggest you get trained on narcan bc you are probably going to need it.
With heroin recovery you are either all in or not. Would you rather your family find out you went to rehab or prayer over your casket at your funeral?
7 Likes
What would you do, if you had a bad case of the flu? One of those knock you on your ass cases? You’d do the only thing you could do, which is to suffer through, and let your body heal. Your responsibilities would have to wait.
The only difference here is no one chooses to get the flu. You chose to use. Now choose to get clean.
3 Likes
Reading your posts I can see that you are nervous about the whole process. Ok.
You know you are not alone in this. There are other people on here who have stopped using heroin. Listen to them. Take in what they say. Because so far, what they are doing works for them. It’s a life changing journey that you can do. You are strong enough!
Yes your life is going to change, you may (should) make difficult decisions, and then you already know this! As other people have said your life depends on the choice you make today!
1 Like
It’s not that I won’t do the things I’m saying I “can’t do.” I guess I’m just voicing my thoughts and feelings that keep my head thinking that what I’m doing is okay. I’ve not talked to anyone besides my fiancé about this. So I’m starting at square one and coming to terms with it all I guess. I’m trying to shed a little light on my situation in hopes that someone can relate and let me know that I’m not alone, that I’m not a special case. And that as much as I think it’s impossible right now… it actually is possible if I get my head out of my ass.
1 Like
Take a deep breath. There is a lot of stuff being thrown at you here.
The main thing to take away though is the fact that you are not alone. We are here for a start.
It gives you something to think about.
2 Likes
Good news is that heroin withdrawal won’t kill you. For social support I suggest checking out a meeting. I doubt your fiance is going to be any help. Probably more of a hindrance. But if you understand that and still want to stick with him, it is still possible to get clean.
3 Likes
I know this feeling…one thing I had to learn to develop was a thicker skin honestly not be so sensitive and realize that a addicts are going to give me the hard truth cause they have been here and want to help me where as friends and family might be more light and fluffy and enable me more. You’re not alone and your feelings are valid its just if you truly want to get sober and have it work your going to have to get a bit uncomfortable. I understand you have responsibilities but you will lose those too if you continue down this path, choose saving your life so you can build a brighter one.
3 Likes
You will make it we all are in the same boat.
1 Like
Please please please listen to me … i was the same as u … my life was living hell… i got rid of my partner as we used together and got serious help … i had to go on methadone to stop withdrawing but i did it … i checked in here every day this lovely new talking soba family was my support until i got into aa meetings… i thank god my partner got into recovery too but he has his own journey to live and i have mine … yes its hard when i started out i cryed every day 4 my drugs and my partner but they couldn’t be part of me saving my life … im 102 days clean today off methadone and have no desire to take drugs … i got a sponsor who im working 12steps with and a family who i ended up telling the truth to and support me … my partner relapse last week. Yes it hurt me but cos we have our own places now i made him stay away from me until he was ready 4 recovery again… u can do this but its hard work but the rewards are better then any buzz from a drug x good luck x
7 Likes