I have finally admitted to myself that I have a problem drinking. I have no idea how to just have 1 or 2 drinks I need 2 bottles! I know I’m killing myself from the inside out and know I am so much better than this person I’ve become! I have reached out for rehab and cannot afford it, I’m not comfortable with AA. So I’m reaching out to this group to help me.
I want to be sober 
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Check out the SMART program as an alternative to AA. If you have liberal leaning political views you might find reading Quitting like a Woman helpful. I’m only 12 days sober and I’m on round 3 of trying to get sober so I don’t have a ton of wisdom. Take it one day at a time! Welcome to TS! Hope you find all the support and and advice you need here.
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I know the cost of rehab and the uncomfortable feeling that comes with sharing or just being in a room with others.
But, nothing changes if nothing changes…
This spot is s a good place, ridding your place of all alcohol is a must, staying away from any drinking atmosphere or area that sells is just as.
For me, I had to change everything or I’d have found an out.
AA is free therapy with like minded people. I see the commonality, not the differences. Hugs to ya
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Thank you! I will check out SMART
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Insurance should cover rehab. If you don’t have income you most likely qualify for Medicaid, which also covers rehab. Some states also have rehab for free.
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I am checking out a few places.
You will have to get comfortable being uncomfortable that’s were the growth is i didn’t go to AA at first because I was worried what other people will think of me I soon got over than as my life is on the line it’s upto me to get my head on the pillow at nite sober I use AA and CA for that wish you well in your journey 
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I was uncomfortable with AA I think it was the thought of actually having to do something for myself to stop me drinking and for some strange reason being with other alcoholics who I couldn’t admit I was anything like. I’ll give you 1 piece of advice - When you’ve tried everything you want to stay sober and found none of your own ideas have worked and you’ve got nowhere left to turn and death would be a blessing, please go to AA and listen to people who have been sober for years, are extremely happy about it, know who you are and how you feel and want nothing more than to help you. I’m 15 months sober and it’s all bc I got out of my comfort zone.
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aa doesnt have a monopoly on sobriety, theres lots of other recovery programs. heres a great thread to look over.
lots of people on this forum have found success in recovery in a variety of ways so were glad youre here 
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i wanted to be sober aswell AA was my only choice didnt want to but i had to and it worked but there are plenty of other ways now so i wish you well
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I used The Alcohol Experiment to start my journey. It’s 30 days solid group and it helped me change my attitude towards drinking. There is an app and it follows This Naked Mind book. It works for me.
There are also podcasts which help like recovery elevator. You got this.
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I’m in your same boat
39 single mom and drinking a few every night has been my “stress reliever “ eve though it’s doing the opposite! Since Covid it’s gotten worse so two days ago I turned to this forum for support. So far it has helped and Hopefully it will help you as well. 
if you ever wanna chat message me!
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You will have to get comfortable being uncomfortable-David is right!
If you are willing to go to any lengths to get well, you have to be prepared to feel a little uncomfortable.
Most people would probably say they felt like they had 2 heads when they first walked into the rooms of AA/NA etc. But the feeling soon passes.
Personally, l have never felt more welcome at a gathering, even one l had a formal invitation to, than at a meeting of AA!
The first time l went, my older sister dragged me there. lt was a beginners meeting.
The lights in the room were dimmed and there were candles, coffee/biscuits and chocolate on the table.
Older sober members told their stories and then at the end, of course, we all stood and said the Serenity prayer. Nobody asked me to share during the meeting and there was no expectation for me to do anything except sit and listen.For all anybody knew,l was there to support my alcoholic sister!
At the conclusion of the meeting, my extrovert sister, introduced me to some women who warmly welcomed me to AA and excitedly gave me my very first version of the Big Book.
I went home that night with a strange feeling of contentment that l hadn’t experienced for a long time, if ever! l lay in my bed and read that condensed version of the BB from cover to cover, falling asleep in the wee hours of the morning. I was sober for the next 38 days ( something l had not been able to do even after 5 weeks of rehab!)
I would definitely say to at least try AA once or twice. Go with family or a trusted friend. Online meetings are a good way to start also.
All the best for your recovery Barbara 
FEEL THE FEAR,AND DO IT ANYWAY!
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