After being sober for a week, I have relapsed again yesterday and don´t know what to do. This was the first time since I stopped drinking a week ago, that I worked with my friend that is an alcoholic as well, and I told him that I had given up drinking, I told him how bad the cravings were and he suggested that I should have a glass of wine to help me, but then stop after that one. I know that it´s stupid, but I did it. I am not a stupid person and I know exactly what was going to happen, but I just needed to stop feeling so emply and flat and get rid of the strong cravings. I downed 2 glasses of wine and then another and then another and before I knew it, I was at home with 2 1 litre cartons of wine. I drank them both and then blacked out. I do remember my husband coming home, but I don´t know what was said. So, here I am again. Will I lose my job? will I lose my husband? I can´t believe I did it, but what scares me most is I don´t know how to stop it happening again. I looked up an AA meeting in my area, but I live on a very small island and I can´t face going, in case there is someone there I know. I was doing so well and began feeling that I was going to make it this time, but now I´m back a square one and I´m deperate to stop drinking
I’m sure losing your job, your husband, and your friends is not the better option.
Thank you, I am downloading it now
Im so sorry to hear about ur relapse 
I know for myself in early recovery, I had to distance myself from others who drink or use drugs. This was to protect my sobriety at all costs. I realize the need to help others is there, but not at the risk of my own recovery. Its usually advised (in 12 step meetings) that someone who has long term stable, sobriety do 12 step calls for this very reason 
The cravings will never go away if u keep feeding into them. The only way thru a craving is to let it pass. And it WILL pass. I know in the moment, it doesnt feel like it will ever go away, but it does. Distractions like cleaning, exercise, a shower, or a hobby are great, going for a walk, talking it out with someone (coming on here for support), or having a nap to sleep thru it can all be helpful. Next time i have a craving, come on here instead and everyone will be more than happy to help give u suggestions.
Everyone in a meeting knows about anonymity. Quute frankly, what is worse???.. someone recognizing u? Or continuing on the path of destruction? Meetings do wonders!! I have learned so much on how to live life and stay clean and sober thru meetings. Maybe reconsider There are also online meetings if u feel that may be a better option. I use the Intherooms app for various 12 step meetings.
Can you see your doctor? It sounds like it may be best for you to have some medical guidance as you detox and there are some medications that can help as you do that. Keep trying. Relapse happens, but it doesn’t mean you have failed.
Don’t give up. Maybe you could try a zoom meeting? Try to learn from this mistake and don’t let yourself talk yourself into drinking again next time. Keep on trying, you can do this. And good job posting here!
Thank you. I know you´re right, I am going to look for an online metting. I´ve just had a look and it´s all a bit overwhelming, but I think that´s because I´m a bit all over the place today. I will look again when my heads straight
Thank you, I think I´ll try an online meeting first, but I will see a doctor if I feel that I have no other way out.
We all learn from our mistakes friend. I was a chronic relapser for years and every time i fell, id try to do something differently in my recovery so that it wouldnt happen again Sounds like ur ready for more change as well. Glad that ull be trying out an online meeting. They are quite good!
Thank you. I´m not going to give up, i can´t give up. Normally once I relapse I just keep drinking until I hit another crises, so the fact that I have stopped myself and come back on here is a good sign that I may be closer to quitting. I will try a meeting online
[quote=“SpainGuy, post:1, topic:197378”]
´t face going, in case there is someone there I know
[/quote] If there are they are there for the same reason you are or did they know you were going so they could see you ?? , if there is people there makes it easier for you to know you arnt alone ,but try a zoom first and maybe a face to face later wish you well
Thank you so much everyone for your replies, it means a lot. I am going to definitely get some help, but in the meantime, I will be working with my friend again on Sunday that also has a drinking problem. I´m so worried that I am going to end up drinking again when I´m with him. I really don´t want to and can now see that I have to have a plan in place to ensure that I don´t. Does anyone have any advice on what I can do?
Can i ask why you have to go see him? Like is this a job that u have to go to? It sounds like a slippery slope in my opinion. History has already shown you that it can be triggering.
He is the manager of the bar that I work at. I would love to be able to not see him for a while, but unfortunately I have to pay the bills, so I really don´t have much of a choice.
There are so many good meetings on there! I literally listen while I walk , keep the camera turned off and just listen. 
With you friend maybe say that your not drinking cause you need a clear mind to process a few things… like not drinking.
Thank you, Ive signed up to In The Rooms
For me, I had to really accept that I was going to feel uncomfortable and shitty and bad. And no matter how bad, I wouldn’t drink, not even a sip.
Addiction has its grip on me and it wants me succumb. There is no easy way out. But it’s worth it. You are worth it.
And with a good amount of sober time under my belt, I can now see that alcohol caused 90% of the problems I had. Everything got worse with alcohol.
It doesn’t matter if there’s someone you know there, they’re an Alcoholic same as you and won’t speak out.
The clues in the name:
Alcoholics Anonymous.
&
And the fact that you are willing to do different stuff for your recovery is also a good sign.
You’re on the right track.
If you need someone to talk to or vent to PM me