I just don’t really know where my head goes anymore when I’m alone… I hate messing up and I can’t take hurting anyone … It’s gone now but does anyone have any ideas on what to do when I get in that head space??.
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Breath, go to a meeting, get in contact with somebody in recovery, 
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Do what your doing now, reach out and ask for help. 
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It would depend on what it is that is triggering you. Try and be self-critical in those moments and see if you can work out what is actually going on.
Just being left on my own was always a trigger/opportunity for me. Still triggers the same thought patterns for me when I know I’m going to get time to myself but have managed to suppress them so far.
I can’t really put a finger on what has changed that but if, for you, it is being alone that also triggers these feelings then like others have said - reach out or call someone or go to a meeting. If it’s an environment thing, change where you are - go for a walk. If it’s boredom - find a way to occupy your mind.
All a journey my friend. Ultimately a personal one. You need to find what works for you. Stay strong 
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